CHAT ARCHIVE - 7-11-98, Editing Exercise

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ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sat Jul 11 23:10:10 1998

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<Casey> This class is designed to teach the basics, but I'm very flexible, especially if it's only you and I.
<Bookpal> How many do you usually have?
<Casey> Class size varies. Tonight, two of them wanted me to "tape" the session and send it to them because they can't be here.
<Bookpal> I tried to reach a friend who is a beginning fantasy writer but no luck
<Goshwin> HUmmm been a while since I could do this stuff
<Casey> I'm not expecting anyone else, so we can begin.
<Casey> I do have a lesson plan, but am interested in what you perceive as your personal weaknesses in writing.
<Bookpal> Point of view
<Casey> maintaining one point of view?
<Bookpal> When I read I even have trouble knowing whose point of view it is
<Casey> POV is tricky.
<Bookpal> Yes. I do know not to switch unless it is a different scene, chapter, etc.
<Casey> I prepared some writing examples for us to work on
<Bookpal> I did get motivated from the chat last night and wrote a story to practice dropping clues
<Casey> Most beginning writers are excessively wordy, so I went thru my files to find really bad writing samples that we can edit.
<Casey> What you need to know before you read this segment is:
<Casey> Kawan is holding the child Raflyn and Raflyn's asked about eating some berries. (They're in the woods)
<Casey> "No, it is too early. The bushes still bloom, and the earliest berries are too small and green. They would not taste good. See?" Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer branches to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit. The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn batted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily stepped back. He continued away from the disturbed swarm until suddenly he stood knee deep in water which swirled around the base of many fern-like plants which bobbed on the disturbed surface of the water.
<Casey> Some of the information presented here is redundant.
<Bookpal> Sure is
<Casey> I thought we could begin sentence by sentence to edit this.
<Casey> I don't have a problem with the first two sentences. They can stay, as far as I'm concerned. How do you feel about doing so?
<Bookpal> Kawan held the child, Raflyn. "May I pick some berries," Raflyn asked.
<Casey> That would actually come before this segment.
<Bookpal> it's pretty passive
<Goshwin> actually i would only point out the linguistics, people are short with sentences..
<Bookpal> explain Gosh
<Casey> Do you mean, that "natural" speech is comprised of very short sentences?
<Goshwin> yes, and less descriptive
<Bookpal> I agree
<Bookpal> "No it's to early" would be enough for me
<Bookpal> And then go to "its too early."
<Casey> I would agree. Altho in writing, it's sometimes necessary to sneak in descriptions within dialogue, to spare long winded descriptions elsewhere.
<Casey> dialogue is usually easier for a reader to stomach than description.
<Goshwin> "No, dont eat them" "the berries wont be ready till after the blooms wilt"
<Bookpal> That works, Gosh
<Casey> Okay. Good.
<Bookpal> Then you could describe the brush etc
<Casey> I don't think that it is necessary to say "They would not taste good."
<Casey> If they're small and hard, that should go without saying.
<Goshwin> (then action ) ie moved bushs "see., they are still gre... whoh" (the bug thing)
<Bookpal> What's the % of dialog compared to description in SF?
<Goshwin> I would add an action of stepping to the bush, then moving the branch then that last bit of diolog
<Casey> That varies widely, Bookpal.
<Casey> Some stories have been written as only dialogue, no description.
<Casey> Others are heavy on description.
<Bookpal> Yes, that would show not tell which makes it stronger - Gosh
<Goshwin> also personal style has much to do with it... (but I think the real lesson is still waiting eh Casey?)
<Casey> Exactly. And I believe the kind of story being told will dictate dialogue/description ratios.
<Bookpal> That last sentence is a doozy!
<Casey> That last sentence is purely awful. I'm not even sure of the author's intention there.
<Bookpal> I ran out of breath reading it -lol
<Goshwin> yah a bit dogged,
<Casey> But we haven't even gotten that far yet. What about the sentence: Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer branches to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit.
<Casey> Here we've got hard green fruit again.
<Casey> That's unnecessary. And I'd rather shorten clusters of tiny white flowers to: white flower clusters.
<Bookpal> I'd keep the part about not tasting good.
<Bookpal> I agree Casey
<Casey> not tasting good seems bland. "Good" is rather nondescriptive. Do you have a better word?
<Goshwin> bitter
<Goshwin> acrid
<Goshwin> sour
<Bookpal> Might want to say they will be bitter
<Casey> Yep, all much better descriptives.
<Goshwin> "little flowers and bitter fuit"
<Casey> Any one will work.
<Casey> Tiny flowers and bitter fruit, even.
<Casey> the next sentence may possibly be combined: The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn batted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily stepped back.
<Goshwin> Chip the monk
<Bookpal> Hi Chip
<Casey> If you want some really awful writing, you came to the right place.
<Casey> I will copy for you the paragraph we're destroying this evening.
<Casey> "No, it is too early. The bushes still bloom, and the earliest berries are too small and green. They would not taste good. See?" Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer branches to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit. The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn batted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily stepped back. He continued away from the disturbed swarm until suddenly he stood knee deep in water which swirled around the base of many fern-like plants which bobbed on the disturbed surface of the water.
<Chipmonk> Okay, what are we to do with this paragraph?
<Bookpal> I would move See to the front of "they would taste bitter. Makes me think you can see how bitter they are.
Chipmonk> Where did para come from and what have you done to it so far?
<Casey> We're revising, and giving reasons for our changes.
<Casey> We've completed about half.
<Chipmonk> Well, in my opinion it is a slow paragraph.
<Casey> Very slow. Too redundant.
<Bookpal> if I read that much in a bookstore I would not buy it
<Casey> Want to offer some of your changes, Chip?
<Chipmonk> Yes, redundant.
<Bookpal> They are in the woods - it should show action
<Casey> (I looked hard and long for really bad writing. I'm glad my efforts have paid off so well.)
<Goshwin> I don't suppose this is from a published book!?
<Chipmonk> I would do. "No, it's too early. See." Then show the berries.
<Chipmonk> And berries and flowers are not usually under the branches.
<Bookpal> That's what I meant by moving See
<Goshwin> ahh chip picks an important point
<Casey> Good point, chip.
<Casey> If they're under anything, it would be the leaves.
<Bookpal> He continued away - I'd run, duck , cover R's head or something
<Chipmonk> Yes, Bookpal, continued away is very awkward.
<Bookpal> disturbed - like in psycho?
<Chipmonk> And batted I don't like either. It refers to balls and eyelashes.
<Goshwin> continues... no I would say staggered ... stumbled .. leads into the bit about ending up in the water
<Bookpal> Released the branches is weak
<Casey> Yes, Bookpal. Strong verbs and nouns will often eliminate the need for a lot of adjectives.
<Bookpal> How about "knee-deep in swirling water" and stop with that
<Chipmonk> I think I would end the sentence with R swatting and start a new one with staggered backward into the water.
<Bookpal> Much better Chip
<Casey> I was wondering about something like: Raflyn swatted the swarm away from his face and Kawan hastily retreated until he stood knee deep in water.
<Chipmonk> What do the fern-like plants have to do with it. Anything?
<Casey> Or take out my "and" and make Kawan hastily retreated the second sentence.
<Bookpal> They don't, that's why I would leave them out
<Chipmonk> Yes Casey that would work much better.
<Goshwin> Or even... He reeled back and let the branch snap back. This brought up a greater swarm which blinded him and caused him to panick (this would provide the reader with a better visual and cause for his untimely arrival in water)
<Goshwin> might even use the term "choking swarm"
<Chipmonk> I think Kawan should trip and fall on his butt splashing the water. More action.
<Goshwin> oops I used double back... (he he)
<Bookpal> I agree Chip - mad bees would make something like that happen
<Casey> Right. Because this whole piece is rather nonchalant.
<Casey> Have the insects instill some sort of emotional reaction.
<Casey> translated into physical action.
<Goshwin> He reeled from the bugs and let the branch snap back. This brought up a choking swarm which blinded him and drove him in a panic
<Goshwin> How about that?
<Casey> I'm hesitant over the "blinded" part.
<Casey> I would have him seeing way too much/too clearly.
<Casey> As in, he's about to be some bugs's dinner.
<Casey> Forget the flowers.
<Chipmonk> Choking and blinding is a bit much.
<Bookpal> I like the branch snapping
<Chipmonk> Yes. How bout brought up an angry swarm?
<Goshwin> humm that works
<Chipmonk> Or is that too much of a cliche?
<Bookpal> cliche it is
<Casey> Usually when you say that "I'm going to die", "He's blind" etc., used figuratively, it robs death and blind of its actual impact.
<Bookpal> good point Casey
<Casey> I only use powerful words for powerful scenes. It makes those scenes have far greater impact.
<Bookpal> another good tip Casey
<Casey> It's worth the time and effort to consider actual word meanings versus common usage.
<Chipmonk> Are these insects stinging them or what?
<Bookpal> true, Casey
<Casey> Nothing in this passage indicated that they are stinging insects.
<Chipmonk> I'm not sure of what the emotion should be here, just annoying or life threatening.
<Bookpal> As it was written - neither - too weak
<Casey> That's where the author needs to make that decision. What significance does this passage have to what follows?
<Casey> Is this passage a catalyst to reckless action immediately following, or simply a transitional scene?
<Goshwin> well they did end up in the water, I would need a reason for them to run into the water..
<Chipmonk> Or startling, so that falling in the water would be more humorous.
<Bookpal> humorous could work - the child must be young if he's being carried
<Bookpal> Where does it go next Casey
<Casey> It's used as a transitional scene. What they discover are the edible floating plants.
<Goshwin> OK, still a laborous way to get there
<Casey> But they could discover that as easily if Kawan falls on his butt in the water, too.
<Bookpal> It's not an opening scene? That helps in my thinking. I believe in strong openings
<Casey> No, it's not an opening scene.
<Bookpal> Is this a SS or a novel?
<Casey> It's a novel in progress.
<Casey> Welcome, Jen.
<Bookpal> What's the relationship between K & R?
<Casey> Can you guys stand having me drag that paragraph down one more time for Jen?
<Casey> Bookpal, Kawan and Raflyn are friends, that's all.
<Bookpal> Adults, one older, one younger or do you know
<Casey> "No, it is too early. The bushes still bloom, and the earliest berries are too small and green. They would not taste good. See?" Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer branches to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit. The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn batted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily stepped back. He continued away from the disturbed swarm until suddenly he stood knee deep in water which swirled around the base of many fern-like plants which bobbed on the disturbed surface of the water.
<Bookpal> fern-like plants - oh, boy
<Casey> Kawan is a teenager, Raflyn is maybe 4? 5?
<Casey> Indeterminate age.
<Bookpal> That helps Casey to understand
<Casey> Jen, we're editing this paragraph and explaining why we're making the changes.
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ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sun Jul 12 00:46:45 1998

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<Goshwin> ONWARD WE GO! (waving finger in air, has heroic look in eye)
<Casey> "No, it is too early. The bushes still bloom, and the earliest berries are too small and green. They would not taste good. See?" Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer branches to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit. The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn batted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily stepped back. He continued away from the disturbed swarm until suddenly he stood knee deep in water which swirled around the base of many fern-like plants which bobbed on the disturbed surface of the water.
<Goshwin> eek that load oh crud again
<Jen> it is really disturbed.
<Chipmonk> It's still just as bad.
<Casey> Shall we tackle the really awful last sentence now?
<Bookpal> Where' s a red pencil
<Casey> We seem to need to keep the floating plants.
<Casey> Figure that into your revisions.
<Chipmonk> I'm afraid to disturb it.
<Bookpal> Why? are they important later
<Casey> Supposedly
<Casey> Have a bite. Taste one and see what you think.
<Bookpal> Oh, yeah, you said edible
<Chipmonk> They taste disturbed.
<Chipmonk> He fell into the water, snapping the stems of the fern-like plants that bobbed on the surface.
<Casey> Good revision, Chip!
<Bookpal> The swarm charged him forcing him backwards into the knee-deep swirling water?
<Casey> Bookpal, you've still lost the edible plants.
<Bookpal> What's with fern-like. It's SF create a new plant
<Chipmonk> He grabbed a fern-like plant and swatted bugs with it.
<Jen> was it a sword fern?<g>
<Goshwin> swirling water, implies a current, but water ferns are a stagnant water plant, or any plant that can flower at the surface (picking at things??)
<Casey> Gosh. As valid a point as having berries under stems.
<Chipmonk> The fern-like plants grabbed him and ate him.
<Bookpal> Tendrils of floating xxx plants tangled around his legs
<Goshwin> Munch Munch.. chip knows how to end a story.. KILL EVERYONE!
<Jen> and poor Raflyn was stung to death by the swarming insects.
<Bookpal> If he fell into the water it could swirl, but the writer did not have that happen
<Jen> true, bookpal.
<Chipmonk> Just stepping into the water would disturb it. It is very touchy.
<Casey> I'd completely ditch the "swirling water."
<Jen> the water kind of appeared
<Goshwin> He (they) fell into the water causing it to swirl and the plants to bob
<Bookpal> what kind of water - lake, etc?
<Casey> A fall would splash and muddy the water.
<Jen> But wouldn't knee deep water be pretty deep for fern like plants to live in?
<Goshwin> well could do the Christ thing.. they walk on water.... (AHHH been done)
<Bookpal> I don't think so Jen
<Jen> yes, then the edible plants would taste very gritty because of the mud
<Chipmonk> They aren't ferns, just fern-like.
<Casey> This must be in a swampy area.
<Jen> That makes sense
<Chipmonk> And Swamp Thing came to the rescue!
<Bookpal> Every book I've read says not to use -like ....now I know why
<Goshwin> (at this rate we will have a sighting of the loc ness monster)
<Jen> she's right behind you.
<Casey> Your suggestions certainly liven up this story.
<Casey> We could have the monster eat K & R and put this story out of its misery.
<Bookpal> go for it
<Goshwin> that ought to do it!!
<Goshwin> Munch Munch goes the main characters
<Chipmonk> And this is just a paragraph! Imagine what we'd have on our hands doing the whole story!
<Jen> Can't have sequels without the main characters
<Casey> I'm going to make a few fast changes then show you what we've done, more or less.
<Bookpal> You'd want a sequel?
<Chipmonk> A prequel?
<Casey> Eating the characters allows us to create something more plausible.
<Jen> I'm always thinking for sequels. I've rarely written a stand alone.
<Chipmonk> A TV series!
<Jen> Soap opera, perhaps.
<Bookpal> most readers like sequels. They ask at the library all the time
<Jen> Do you work in a library too?
<Bookpal> Yeh, I manage one or you could say it manages me
<Bookpal> Do you?
<Jen> hehe, I bet. I am a lowly Circulation person.
<Bookpal> We are a small branch so I get to do everything
<Bookpal> Our monthly circ is about 5,000
<Chipmonk> Hey, Bookpal, Casey, I know a guy who used to be a prison librarian. If he joined you three could have your own little sub-group.
<Jen> Oh, Lucky you. We have some fairly small branches, 10 in all. Not a large system. We're the third busiest where I work.
<Jen> Librarians at Large?
<Chipmonk> Good one Jen!
<Goshwin> Kill em all I say... (oh course people got upset when I whipped out most of my characters in Sleeper...) (hummm)
<Bookpal> and let God sort them out?
<Chipmonk> Sort the bodies or the books?
<Bookpal> bodies
<Jen> I live inside a library, so I'm always surrounded.
<Jen> Three out of four walls are covered with books. :-)
<Bookpal> I made everyone read The Silence of the Lamb - they thought I was weird
<Bookpal> inmates I mean
<Jen> Hey, that was a good idea!
<Chipmonk> Did they like it, Bookpal?
<Bookpal> no, said they couldn't sleep
<Chipmonk> Oh no! It's crip!
<crip> Uh.....evening all
<Jen> Hey, crip!
<Bookpal> Hi crip
<Goshwin> Oh oh its the Boston Mangler
<Casey> Okay, I have a very rough cut and paste and am certain I missed revisions, but here's our rewrite.
<Casey> "No, it is too early. The bushes still bloom, and the earliest berries are too small and green. See? They would be sour." Kawan paused at a bush and parted the outer leaves to display the clusters of tiny white flowers and small, hard green fruit. The movement of the brush disturbed a swarm of insects feeding on the flowers. Raflyn swatted them away from his face while Kawan released the branches and hastily retreated. He fell into the water, snapping the stems of the fern-like plants that bobbed on the surface. He grabbed a fern-like plant and swatted bugs with it.
<Jen> It is better.
<Chipmonk> Two fern-likes!
<Casey> It gives the author a better foundation to begin with.
<Jen> Oh, yeah. Didn't catch that, Chip!
<Casey> Further editing can only improve it. (It couldn't be worse)
<Bookpal> Still too weak with words like released
<Chipmonk> Knock off the first berry description too.
<Casey> Can anyone think of a good active verb to replace released?
<Casey> or "while Kawan let the branch snap back"??
<Goshwin> let the branches snap back?
<Casey> ESP, Gosh.
<Casey> Great minds think alike.
<Goshwin> GRIN
<Jen> Well, you wouldn't really need it at all, it is assumed before he fell into the water he released the branches?
<Bookpal> To many "to be verbs"
<crip> the whole 'swatted bugs with it'
<Goshwin> "whack wack"
<Chipmonk> I don't like swatted bugs with it either.
<Casey> Suggestions for change?
<Chipmonk> with it weakens the sentence.
<Casey> omit with it?
<Casey> period after bugs?
<Chipmonk> Swatted at the bugs?
<crip> to swat bugs with?
<Casey> Good, chip.
<Jen> He grabbed one of the plants and tried to keep the bugs away from his face
<Goshwin> break the fall into water... then bring in swating bugs.. then a moment to realize that the plants might be eddible.. How to execute this I do not know, but I would be tempted to head that way
<Bookpal> Why would he realize the plants are edible at this stage of the story?
<Bookpal> Are they in need of food?
<Casey> Jen's last suggestion leaves me with the mental image of Kawan with one hand on a plant and the other defending himself from bugs while the baby drowns.
<Chipmonk> Hmmm? They could cover their faces with the plants and get sap on their mouths or hands and taste it.
<Chipmonk> Lol Casey.
<Bookpal> Add suspense - come back to plants after almost starving or something
<Chipmonk> Yes, starving babies are good.
<Goshwin> that is a point, but you said this is the lead into that very discovery.. the act of using the plants as a fly swatter brings the plants to the attention of the main characters.. (would be whimsical to have them discover the solution to hunger right under their noses)
<Bookpal> mention them - dropping a clue guys
<Goshwin> starving drowning babies to be exact
<Casey> Good idea, Bookpal.
<Bookpal> right on, Gosh
<Chipmonk> So they're walking through the swamp using these plants as fly swatters while they search for food all the while they have it in their hands--how ironic.
<Bookpal> Now we're getting it Chip
<Goshwin> he he my favorite plot twist...
<Bookpal> the plot must twist
<Casey> Now we're getting somewhere. Giving the scene a reason for being.
<Bookpal> Yes, Casey - that is what is wrong with most of it - how does it affect/effect the story - one of my hard words
<Casey> Plus the revisions add the necessary action, and Chip's discovery adds the irony.
<Chipmonk> They could see some animal eating them?
<Casey> (Bet you guys can't wait until next month, when we see 9 princesses and 1 evil prince!)
<Bookpal> When I read I don't want to know about the sky unless something is crashing down from it. Blue or Grey? I don't care
<Chipmonk> Good point, BP.
<Bookpal> Those bees and plants must be important to the rest of the story
<Casey> Yes. Exactly. Or when someone picks up an object with their hand. I don't want to be told how an object is picked up unless its with two fingers or toes or teeth.
<Bookpal> berries, too. Are they poison? If you were starving you would eat bitter berries
<Bookpal> I agree Casey
<Chipmonk> Most of what is there to be experienced is not noticed unless it is different or unusual or fills a need.
<Bookpal> true
<Casey> Good point, Chip. You're absolutely right.
<Chipmonk> But, writers seem to forget that and it takes the story outside of the character's point of view.
<Bookpal> That's why sometimes it's hard to fit clues in
<Chipmonk> Yes, I can see how it would do that.
<Bookpal> can't have it stand out like a sore thumb
<Casey> Aren't most clues common, everyday items? A cigarette butt, a strand of hair, etc.?
<Bookpal> Yes
<Casey> And those have to be mentioned in casual passing. That is difficult.
<Chipmonk> Bloody gloves and designer shoe prints?
<Casey> size 8 1/2 shoe?
<Bookpal> I practiced today - wrote a 3,000 word story and found it hard to get clues in un-noticed. Don't know how it will work for a reader
<Bookpal> Yep, they have to blend in - seem like they are not important
<Casey> If you want to donate the story for critique slaughter, we'll be happy to tell you how it does or does not work for the reader.
<Bookpal> You can practice on it because I'm not going to do anything with it. Just wanted to after chat last night
<Casey> Our group is quite astute.
<Bookpal> good - they sure jump out at me
<Casey> Well, you wrote the story. We don't know how it ends and who done it.
<Bookpal> It was a speedy one - two hours - if I was going to use it for something I would start revising
<Casey> Maybe you should omit the ending and let us guess who did it??
<Casey> From your clues alone.
<Casey> That might be fun.
<Bookpal> I would have to see where I could stop it - could be fun. I hate guessing right
<Chipmonk> Okay, back to bad writing.
<Casey> Whole handful of cashews for The Glorious Chipmonk.
<Chipmonk> Snif, beg
<Chipmonk> Crunch, crunch, crunch.
<Casey> Goshwin, are you aiming those nuts at her?
<Casey> Stop that.
<Bookpal> tried to trap a chipmonk once with chips - failed
<Chipmonk> Mwow I haf do dawk mwif mwy mouf foo.
<Goshwin> toss chuck, lobb, heave
<Bookpal> lol
<Casey> I tried to catch a bird with a cardboard box, a stick and some string. That didn't work either.
<Bookpal> know what you mean
<Casey> Those dumb animals are smarter than they look.
<Chipmonk> Gulp! Dumb animals!
<crip> *LOL* stop it granny...TOO MANY JOKES.....
<Casey> You think I was joking about the bird trap?!
<Bookpal> No, I tried that as a kid
<Chipmonk> I'll have you know, God put us squirrel folk on this Earth just to keep you humans humble!
<Casey> (Sorry, bookie, that question was directed to the incredulous Crip. Probably a city kid who never did such things. too sophisticated.)
<Bookpal> Where did we learn those things?
<Chipmonk> Wiley Coyote?
<crip> suberbanite!!!!!
<crip> i ain't no city folk
<Casey> And you never tried to capture a wild animal?
<crip> nope
<crip> my husky did it for me
<Bookpal> What's a city? We don't have them in North Idaho
<Casey> ewww! Poor wild critter.
<Casey> There couldn't have been too much left of it after that.
<crip> nope not really
<crip> people live in North Idaho?
<crip> wow
<Bookpal> a few of us
<Chipmonk> Bigfoots
<crip> really
<Bookpal> There you go
<crip> those people are becoming extinct
<Bookpal> Yep, dropping like fern-like plants
<Chipmonk> Hey, we left R and K to starve in the swamp!
<Casey> It was a kindness, Chip.
<Casey> Bigfoots don't become Bigfeet when they're pluralized?
<crip> Bigfooti
<Bookpal> good Crip
<Chipmonk> Bigfoots took them in and raised them as their own.
<Casey> And taught them to eat the plants they were using as flyswatters.
<Chipmonk> Yeah!
<crip> until they all died from eating the poisonous plants except for the three people that make up North Idaho
<Casey> Peace and harmony was returned to the swamp at last.
<Bookpal> You've been here? Crip
<crip> it has to be the same as Ohio
<Chipmonk> Until the bugs which were the kind they had on X files, sucked away their bodily fluids and wrapped them up in webs.
<Casey> Their mummies discovered 2,000 years later by alien archeologists.
<Bookpal> how about the daddies?
<Goshwin> Of course the aliens ended up the same way...
<crip> then the mummies came alive forming specfic in the year 3000
<Goshwin> by then we would be more historians than SF
<Casey> How do we rehydrate the mummies, crip?
<Casey> Just add water, stir, and simmer over a low heat?
<Chipmonk> And you're saving this for your class!
<crip> use that salve stuff on em
<Bookpal> Do you have good editing skills?
<Chipmonk> Drop them in a swamp and stir with fern-like plants.
<Bookpal> Chip - you beat me to it!
<Chipmonk> hehe.
<crip> until they search the dead earth all over again for food wielding their fern-like swatters
<Bookpal> Hey, we're writing
<Goshwin> Oh brother! (GRIN)
<Chipmonk> Brainstorming.
<Bookpal> You got it
<Casey> brainstorming is fun.
<Casey> I love it.
<Bookpal> I do that alot into a tape recorder - gets funny
<Chipmonk> Do you think this is how teams of writers work?
<Bookpal> Sure
<Goshwin> (don't get me started!!!)_ (GRIN)
<Bookpal> sitcoms I'm sure
<Chipmonk> Why not, Gosh?
<Casey> You're most fun when you're wound up, Goshwin.
<Goshwin> wound up!?! (now I am a wind up toy... a boy toy?)
<Bookpal> oooh
<Goshwin> clink cunck clink clink
<Casey> Ma-Chine, left. Ma-chine, right. Ma-chine, STOP!
<Chipmonk> That's why he studied engineering! So he could repair himself!
<Chipmonk> Mr. Machine.
<Casey> Excuse me, Mr. Goshwin, sir, is this loose screw yours?
<Goshwin> Bang bang crunch whack .... chug chug chug... Boink....(pours coffee into the works... Chug chug chug. (hah works everytime
<Bookpal> Do you always have left over parts?
<Goshwin> *chug*
<Chipmonk> Anybody got a screwdriver?
<Goshwin> *rattle* leaving little bits everywhere
<crip> *pouring vodka and oj* here's some chip
<Bookpal> Nope, gave them up when I turned 21
<Chipmonk> Very funny!
<Goshwin> chortle....*rattle BANG!* *chug chug*
<Chipmonk> Bookpal, Gosh specializes in sound effects.
<Bookpal> Good to know
<Goshwin> *BANG* humm must be those beans i ate
<Casey> I don't recall seeing Goshwin listed in our Ask the Experts column under noises.
<Casey> Must have been an oversight.
<Bookpal> Gotta Go - it's been great, but I've been in this chair for ten hours today. Need to move around.
<Casey> Glad you came, Bookpal.
<Chipmonk> Yeah, I'd say so! Bye Bookpal.
<Bookpal> See ya soon - take care all
<Goshwin> humm I think I need to work on my digestion *POP * perhaps some roughage *BLAT* a salade or perhaps *BLORT* a fern like plant?
<Chipmonk> I think she is an excellent addition to our insanity.
<Goshwin> oops both chip and book left
<Casey> Using anonymous pieces is a lot more fun than using member pieces.
<Casey> I believe so, too, Chip.
<Chipmonk> Yes, nobody has to worry about hurting feelings.
<Casey> You can give all the credit to Crip, who gave me the idea to do it this way.
<crip> I did not!!!!
<Casey> Thank you immensely--again--crip.
<crip> no!!!!
<Chipmonk> Way to go crip!
<crip> AHHHHHHHHHHHH
<Casey> I think it's time for all of us to part. It's late, and class is dismissed anyway.
<crip> nighty night all
<Chipmonk> See you all next time.