CHAT ARCHIVE - 6-26-99, Transitions

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Started on Sun Jun 27 00:25:25 1999

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<shorty103> I did an outline today, but it seemed that it came too easy,
what a shock!
<Casey> we're going to have latecomers. 
<zentao> How late ?
<Casey> Crip doesn't get off work until 9:30, but we're not waiting to
start that late.
<zentao> Heh, heh.  We'd all be asleep.
<Spinner> Sleep?  what's that?
<zentao> We can wait.  Meanwhile, everyone pull out their notepads.
<Casey> Yes, Sir
<zentao> All right.  while we wait, I want you to write a paragraph ending
with a man named Joe dying.
<zentao> Five sentences max.
<zentao> You don't have to get fancy.
<Spinner> The pain slowly faded, numbness brought ease.  Joe smiled gently
and told his loved wife not to cry.  the long agony was over.  Finally.  He
closed his eyes, took a last breath and reached for the brightness beyond.
<Spinner> five sentences.
<zentao> Very nice Spinner.
<shorty103> a little unprepared for this.  lol
<zentao> You are supposed to be unprepared for the zen moment.
<Spinner> I'm not necessarily prepared, but I'm always reddy. ;)
<zentao> When everyone is done, we will initiate some discussion.  You will
be using your paragraph during the course of the evening.
<Spinner> Ooh, good thing you told me.  copied.
<zentao> I did too, just in case you didn't.
<zentao> Each signal when they have completed their paragraph.
<zentao> Then you may post it to the chat interface.  (that way I have a
copy and know what you wrote for future reference.
<shorty103> Zen what if it is one sentence longer than you have asked?
<zentao> That is all right, shorty.
<shorty103> The darkness covered the room like a blanket. A small light
shown from one corner. Joe looked at his sister and said,"It won't be long
before I will be joining Marie in heaven."
<zentao> Thank you.  Well done.
<shorty103> okay
<zentao> Post your paragraphs to the chat interface please.
<Casey> Liver disease had been the initial diagnosis.  A stint was inserted
to allow drainage, tests were performed to rule out cancer, and Joe was
placed on the national register as a donor liver candidate.  Weakening with
every stint change, seen by specialists, his need for a liver transplant
became a desperate race with time.  With his name finally moving into the
top fifty candidates, cancer was discovered; the news was his death
warrant.
<DaveC> Joe slammed the nozzles to the braking stop as he came out the top
side of his low level loop. Power shoved to the stops, he knew this was the
critical moment. As the nose broke the horizon . . . silence. A flame out
at four thousand feet. It was over.
<zentao> Ouch, Dave,
<Casey> Good one!  Violence!
<kissfan> Joe's life had been hard . he knew no one would miss him when he
was gone.  He had thought it through a thousand times and came up with the
same answer.  Yes the time was now. he picked up the gun, placed it to his
head and pulled the trigger
<zentao> All right.
<zentao> some of you have allowed an obvious doorway to Joe staying alive.
Others have not left so obvious a doorway.
<zentao> Each will find an interesting experience in writing the various
transitions we explore tonight because of your choices.
<Casey> Blowing brains out and blowing up in mid air is rather difficult to
recover from.
<kissfan> true LOL
<zentao> I was being diplomatic, Hardcase.
<Casey> Whoops!  Blunt one slinking back into corner.
<zentao> Now. First, what is a transition?  Not in writing, just in general
terms?
<shorty103> moving from one thing to another
<DaveC> A shift in scenes.
<kissfan> or one place to another
<Spinner> the movement from one to another.
<zentao> Very good. 
<zentao> And in writing in particular?
<Spinner> the passage between
<Casey> A bridge from one idea to another, or one scene to another.
<shorty103> going from one scene to another without losing the reader
<DaveC> An event that creates a situation that requires yet another scene.
<zentao> All good definitions and all applicable.
<Spinner> I think of it as stepping through a doorway, but that doorway
might be at the end of a short or long hallway.
<Chipmonk> Sorry I'm late.  We were having a thunder storm.
<zentao> I consider it the modus operandi of moving from one thing to
another in a story.
<zentao> One rule.  A transition ALWAYS must move the story forward.  It
must be pertinent in some way to the entire story.
<zentao> Newcomers, you need to write about a 5 sentence paragraph about
Joe dying.
<zentao> When done, they need to be posted to the chat interface.
<Casey> Zen, I'm giving newcomers all that info so you aren't interrupted.
<zentao> All right.
<Goshwin> Ill be away typing but I will still be able to see the chat
screen, so just yell if you want something
<zentao> We are going to wait on Goshwin and Chip to get their paragraphs
done.   Meanwhile, let's think about a couple of things.
<zentao> Visualize BLACK.
<Chipmonk> Mines done.
<zentao> Now Visualize WHITE.
<zentao> Post it to the chat interface, chip.
<zentao> And also keep it on your notepad.
<zentao> You will be using it throughout the session.
<zentao> Visualize a closed door.
<zentao> Now visualize an open door.
<zentao> Not the door swinging open.
<zentao> Just a closed door, then an open door.
<Chipmonk> Somebody had to do it. So why not him. He was a cop--not that
that held any weight where he was going. He was sure that whatever lay on
the other side was outside his jurisdiction. But any predator who dared
cross over into his city, his streets, was going to have to face him.  He
took the cup and drank.  He had expected burning but it tasted like nothing
worse than bad scotch. His heart slowed and within five minutes, he was
legally dead.
<Spinner> Cool, chip
<Casey> Definitely SF.
<zentao> When do we use what is formally called a transition?  Between
scenes, yes, but what kind.  Define the types of transitions as in from
place to place....
<Spinner> time, distance, emotional content action...
<zentao> What do we use them to bridge, in other words.  Change in or of
what?
<Casey> Transitions are found throughout writing.  Even between sentences.
<zentao> What about character or POB?
<zentao> that is true, Casey.
<Spinner> Yeah
<zentao> We will get to that at the end.
<zentao> Right now, We are working on the basics.
<Spinner> the list is as long as the elements of a story.
<kissfan> or longer
<Chipmonk> Between interesting parts.
<zentao> In truth, every sentence must be a transition to the next,  every
paragraph, every word in a sentence....
<Casey> When a character moves from one place to another.
<Spinner> In any form
<kissfan> or when a character moves from one thought to another
<shorty103> okay, beginning to understand
<zentao> All right then.  But can we narrow the field a bit for
simplicity's sake...since we don't want to be here until the cock crow of
morning.
<Casey> As with your door example, he shouldn't be in Minnesota in one
paragraph then in Virginia the next with no explanation of how he got
there.
<Spinner> the transition better be interesting too, chip, or you'll lose
the reader on the journey.
<DaveC> A transition is nothing more than every word written leading to the
next to make/create flow in the story.
<Spinner> Nice one, Dave.
<zentao> A transition in writing is a device.  It can bring the reader
smoothly and gently from one place in the story to the next, or it can
purposely jolt.
<Goshwin> Done
<zentao> Post it, Gosh.
<Goshwin> Breathe in, let it out slowly. Heart slows and Joe places the
scopes reticule on the head of his victim. He was the ice man, the best
killer in his squad. Breathe in, slow out. Counting the beats of his heart
he slowly tracked his victim as he gently began to squeeze the trigger. A
flare of laser light across his vision, a counter sniper? His heart skipped
a beat then stopped.
<zentao> All right.
<Chipmonk> Wham!
<Spinner> Yeah, chip, there were several "whams"
<zentao> I'll start the list.
<zentao> From POV to POV.
<zentao> Next?
<Spinner> action to action
<Casey> From scene to scene
<Casey> from scene to POV
<zentao> How about from TIME to TIME?
<Chipmonk> From section of dialogue to another section of dialogue.
<zentao> Or from STORY to STORY?
<Casey> from dialogue to narration?
<zentao> Or any combination of these and more, right?
<Casey> Yes.
<shorty103> wow! I think everyone has covered what I was thinking, but just
faster than I
<Spinner> Yep
<Chipmonk> Yep
<kissfan> ya me too
<zentao> Technically, transitions can be a bridge, which is smooth -- so
the reader never feels it.
<Chipmonk> Showing a natural progression.
<zentao> and the other extreme, what my teacher called the "flash"
transition.
<zentao> In what instances would one choose to use one or the other? 
<Spinner> Like the sudden hard rock passage in the melodic structure of
Vangelis' metallic Rain
<DaveC> Zen, exactly, that is why each word leads to the next ( minor
transition). Change in POV, time, place etc. major transition. Both must
move story forward with smoothness.
<zentao> Exactly Spinner.
<Casey> When shock value is important, use the flash transition.
<Spinner> Impact!
<Chipmonk> Depends on the pace you want.
<shorty103> and knowing when to foreshadow and to backflash
<zentao> Which is where we get to using transitions for effect.
<zentao> for contrast, to set or change mood....so on and so forth.
<Spinner> I don't do much backflash, but a lot of foreshadow.  I just don't
know what the foreshadow is about until I get there.
<zentao> So we use the device of the transition to move the story forward
from one place to another, but we also utilize it as a device to control
where WE want the reader to be, HOW we want the reader to respond and
react.
<zentao> As authors, we must know how to manipulate our audience in order
to tell them OUR story the way we want them to experience it.  The better
we are at it, the better we can do this, and transitions are but one device
we use to achieve this.  And a very powerful device.
<Casey> It appears that transitions are the most used device at our
disposal.
<zentao> Most used?  I'm not sure of that.  I myself don't write by setting
a formula of this device here, now this one.
<zentao> I think the most used "device" is our free creativity.  :)
<Casey> Agree there!
<Casey> I was thinking, we use similies, metaphors, etc. more deliberately,
less frequently.
<shorty103> so a transition is a device to bring the reader into a
fictional world, and to keep them there until the author's story is told.
<zentao> No.
<shorty103> okay, I'm still trying to get used to the many different parts
of writing
<zentao> Keeping a story believable.  Keeping disbelief from creeping into
the reader, suspending disbelief, as I believe we usually say it, is the
entire craft of writing.
<DaveC> It is but one device, I think, that is used to move the story. Many
others . . . POV, description, narrative . . . all do the same in one
manner or the other.
<zentao> It is not dependent upon one or another device, but rather upon
the skilled meshing of all elements of writing story.
<zentao> These skills must be so second nature by the time one begins to
attempt serious novel or short story writing that we are not conscious that
we are using them.
<shorty103> okay, I would have to throw a hammer in there wouldn't I!  lol
<Spinner> if we know all the elements well, we use them without having to
consider which we're using and the story moves well.  If the story doesn't
move well, knowing them helps us identify the problems.
<Casey> Right, Spinner.
<shorty103> yes, very true
<zentao> Casey asked me to keep this simple tonight, and I even sat down
and outlined a basic course to use.  I think Casey might have
underestimated her audience.
<Casey> Not "keep it simple."  I requested that you be specific.
<Casey> (Is that the same thing?)
<zentao> Therefore, let's scrap the basics and get to some up level fun.
Free for all time guys and gals.
<Spinner> K
<Chipmonk> Uh oh.
<shorty103> okay, now what does that mean?
<kissfan> K
<zentao> Would you like me to refresh your memory with your exact request,
Hardcase?  I still have the message history complete.
<Spinner> Anticipa a a tion
<Goshwin> Oooo
<Casey> That's okay, Zen.  I'm not going to protest again.
<shorty103> I have 15 minutes left, make it interesting!
<Goshwin> ( he he I have all night)
<kissfan> me too he he
<zentao> Well, everybody take their paragraphs since we wrote them and the
next scene is a little girl giggling at a carnival.
<zentao> Heh, heh. 
<Goshwin> What and switch POV??  but same scene?
<Casey> sentence requirements?  (We're connecting the girl to Joe's dying?)
<zentao> Do whatever you have to.
<Goshwin> HEHEHE I am way ahead!!
<zentao> Evil laughter.
<zentao> And please don't go for anything OBVIOUS.
<shorty103> do I understand you correctly,  we have to connect the girl at
the carnival with Joe's dying?
<zentao> The next scene in your story that comes after Joe's dying is a
girl giggling.  she's at a carnival.
<shorty103> okay, so their separate
<zentao> Your job is to make a transition so it makes logical, cohesive
sense to your story.
<zentao> They can be in the same or different time. the same or a different
place.  A flashback, whatever.
<zentao> But don't do anything obvious.
<DaveC> The seconds left before impact, Joe's mind flashed the face of a
little giggling child. His little girl on a merry-go-round, blond curls
flyin in the wind. Then light, bright light and a childs laugh.
<zentao> that's pretty obvious, Dave.  But in your situation, I can see why
you would so move.
<DaveC>  Small transition. But death, and recognizing it's coming is a
transition in itself. I'll try another.
<Spinner> Marion kissed joe's hand and laid it gently on the bed.  She felt
a slight twinge of guilt at the relief she felt, but understood it.  Four
hours later, the arrangements made, she drove to the place she always
thought of as 'their' place.  she parked the car and walked into the park.
She smiled and wiped a tear from her eye.  the carnival wasn't just like
the one where she and Joe had met 57 years before, but the smell of cotton
candy and popcorn were.  A girl of a bout six ran by her, giggling, a
dollar bill in hand to the gaze enrapt at the fellow swirling cotton candy
onto a stick.  she stopped to watch and felt Joe beside her.  he always
would be.
<zentao> And what happens next after that transition is the telling of
whether the transition is successful.  so now Dave, you have to begin to
write the next scene.
<zentao> Pretty good, Spin.
<zentao> PSSST, everybody, Spinner is an incurable romantic!
<Spinner> Shhh!
<crip> great paragraph spin
<Casey> "Momma, that dog looks just like the clown!" Amy giggled through
her fingers, at the exact moment Marilyn's cell phone rang.  Marilyn
reached into her purse, holding her breath as she did so.  Maybe this was
the call they'd been waiting for, the one telling her that an organ donor
had been found.
<shorty103> A few months earlier, Joe had taken his God-daughter to the
carnival. Ride after ride, the two giggled until their tummies hurt.
<DaveC> She laughed. The funny plane wasn't making any noise anymore. The
merry-go-round, set up as part of the airshow attractions, came to a stop,
and Lynne pointed at the Harrier as it sped to its death. She thought it
was funny.
<Casey> That's more intriguing, Dave.
<zentao> Okay, there are all sorts of possible ramifications possible with
either version.
<DaveC> Actually, if I was actually setting up the scene, the reader would
have know about the merry-go-round and the little girl before this scene.
It would have been more believable.
<zentao> Now lets talk about that aspect of story creation.
<zentao> Because it is in transitions that the writer can break free of
constraints.
<zentao> Take both of DaveC's versions.
<zentao> Or maybe they come one upon the other (with a little rewriting to
brush them up of course.)  But the kernal is all there.
<zentao> sorry Colonel :)
<DaveC> No sweat, hell I'm writing off the cuff here.
<zentao> anyway, what we have is Joe's in a plane that is fatally driving
itself into the ground.
<zentao> He is seeig his own daughter,
<DaveC> Yes.
<zentao> The seconds left before impact, Joe's mind flashed the face of a
little giggling child. His little girl on a merry-go-round, blond curls
flyin in the wind. Then liight, bright light and a childs laugh.
<zentao> But something else is in there that a speculative fiction writer
always gives himself -- a doorway.
<DaveC> Sure, the story has to continue.
<zentao> The "light" and "a child's laugh"
<zentao> but not necessarily the same child's laugh that he is hearing in
his mind as he remembers his daughter.
<zentao> So Dave has given his pilot a way to "live" via some device, all
in the body of the transition.
<Spinner> Heehee, I have more trouble bringing mine to an end than
continuing.
<zentao> the light could be....what?  angel intervention?  It could be his
spirit leaving his body for heaven.
<zentao> It could be alien intervention.
<zentao> Or it could be Joe is having a dream.
<Casey> astral projection, thereafter trapped as a ghost when his body
suddenly ceases to exist.
<DaveC> Zen, did I send you my latest novel. You just developed the plot
line of what I'm working on right this instant.
<DaveC> Nope, alien.
<Casey> Cool, Dave.
<zentao> As to the child on the ground, is she some future pilot to be that
maybe Joe's ghost will haunt or help when she finds herself faced with
this, as her own "karma" for her laughter?
<kissfan> As life drained from his body, he saw the face of a little girl
giggling at a carnival.  It was his little sister.  The one person that had
made him happy in his life. Then the vision was gone and only darkness
remained.
<kissfan> ool
<Goshwin> GRIN
<zentao> Dave writes about aliens, just like I used to.
<Goshwin> he he he
<zentao> We both write and wrote "space fiction."  Therefore it would have
to be aliens.
<DaveC> Transition: Hospital, doctors, nurses and Joe. A crash at over 400
knots infront of thousands, yet not a scatch on him. Title of book "Joe
Olive."
<Goshwin> ready for this "book"
<Casey> Sure, gosh.
<Goshwin> "I want that!" and Jill pointed to the candy floss booth. "What?"
her father responded as he glanced down at her. "Oh yes, of course dear"
Jill's father gave a curt nod at one of his security men. On cue the huge
man crisply turned to the booth and advanced on the floss salesman. The
senator continued to smile and shake a few hands and Jill hopped in
anticipation of her pink prize. She might forgive daddy this time, she
didn't want this trip to be like the others. All these people, cameras, and
long talks to crowds of people who waved flags. Daddy promised that this
trip to the carnival would be different, but it wasn't.
<Goshwin>   The senator heard Jill's laugh and felt a tug at his sleeve. He
put his irritation aside as he turned to his daughter and asked the now
pink faced girl what she wanted. "Look daddy a Tapeeesist" He smiled at her
words and looked in the direction she pointed and saw the limp body fall
from the clock tower.
<Goshwin> "daddy? wats wrong?"  
<Goshwin> did you get the whole thing?
<Spinner> yes.  got it all
<zentao> Yes.
<Goshwin> HUmm , like that Zen (thought you got me on the giggle bit
hummm?)
<zentao> We are all sooo good when put on the burner.  I purposely put you
all in a corner and your skills at extracting yourselves are apparent.
<zentao> Now let's talk about the necessity of the critical moment.
<zentao> What makes a reader read on.  And the importance of that.
<zentao> Because that is also a transition.
<Spinner> The main reason for paradox Equation was irritation with writers
who wrote themselves into a corner and did "It's magick! (or super
invention etc. to get themselves out.  
<Spinner> It's NOT necessary.  One CAN find a way to do it.
<zentao> and it is that same device a writer uses to avoid writers block
when ending one session and beginning another.  The application is just
different.
<Spinner> Ooh, good point.
<Casey> Enticing glimpses and suggestions, details that don't completely
answer all questions, curiosity, all keep the reader reading.
<Spinner> One problem I sometimes have is that once I know where the story
HAS to go, it's not as interesting to write.
<zentao> Ending one scene at the exact moment when a reader is dying to
know what is going to happen next.
<zentao> I know the feeling, Spin.
<zentao> Very well.
<zentao> Too well.
<Spinner> yeah, I've got a dozen books that sit because one that hasn't
reached that point is more interesting.
<zentao> What keeps the writer interested in writing then, is sculpting the
words for an intriguing way to do the story.
<DaveC> Wos, spinner, I sure don't have that problem. Little things like
utapotus's keep popping up in my characters lives.
<zentao> When a writer fails to be excited about writing a story, his or
her writing begins to fail.
<zentao> that is a device I used too Dave.
<zentao> One of the tricks is to interpose a new element to the story, such
as a new character, a new situation, a new surprise of some sort, and often
the brain will conjure these itself much to the pleasant surprise of the
author.
<DaveC> Amen, Zen. That's the wonder about being an author. 
<Spinner> that DOES happen.  I really don't have that.. 'exactly where it's
going' problem until I get close to the end.
<kissfan> that is the problem I am having with destiny calls right now
<zentao> Now let's talk about SMOOOOOOOOOTH transitions.
<zentao> I want you all to select two characters.  I want you to write a
short sequence smoothly switching POV's without the reader being aware of
the shift yet realizing it and automatically changing POV's with the
switch.
<Spinner> I'm trying NOT to let too many surprise elements pop up because
most of the books are already in the 200,000 word range.
<zentao> There is a small trick to writing novels.  Know the end, because
the end begets the beginning.  Middles take care of themselves then.
<Spinner> "Marion?"
<Spinner> "Andrew!"
<Spinner> "Is Joe?"
<zentao> No.  Not just in dialogue, which Spinner has demonstrated most
proficiently with her minimalism.  I want actual meat.
<Spinner> "Four hours ago.  It wasn't sad, Andrew."
<Spinner> "No, I know that.  You met at a carnival, didn't you?"
<zentao> Okay.
<zentao> I am going to say that there can be only the most bare use of
dialogue.
<zentao> This is a hard one, folks.  But it is important to be able to do
right.
<Casey> Are we still working from our 2 previous paragraphs or can we go
completely different?
<Spinner> "Yes.  time to go home.  the children will be calling."
<zentao> Go completely different Casey
<Casey> Will do.
<Chipmonk> I did mine as a continuation already:(.
<Spinner> Andy watched Marion walk away.  She'd been his favorite teacher
twenty years before and was still one of the people he most admired.  he
scooped up his granddaghter and headed for the parking lot.  he was already
working on the idea of seeing to it that Marion didn't go through what his
mother had when his father died.  he knew who her attorney was and planned
to make sure everything was in order.  there would be no delays by an
insurance company this time.  he had all the proof he needed that something
'funny' was going on and martin Garrity and marion were the perfect people
to hand that proof.
<Spinner> Me too.  Obviously.
<Chipmonk> Interesting.  Too bad I missed the previous part.
<Chipmonk> Are we just supposed to paste them as soon as we're done or are
we taking turns?
<zentao> That's fine Chipper.
<Casey> Manerra did as Yutrenta requested and prayed for the man-thing's
recovery, while Aya, watching him, also asked that Acrahh spare the
foundling's life.  Manerra carried guilt from the Manteen killings, and
because Aya loved him, he did not want this death on his brother's
conscience as well.
<zentao> Good, Casey.
<Casey> Thank you.
<zentao> Excellent shift of POV.  smooth, yet clean and obvious.
<Casey> In mid-sentence, no less!
<zentao> Using a device in the English language supremely suited for such
transitions.
<Chipmonk> He felt/saw nothing. Then...
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Blinding light!
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Incoming!
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> He was in Nam! He could hear the choppers overhead, Feel the
sweat and grit running down his forehead into his eyes, taste his own
blood. Paco's groans echoed in his ears as he died lying next to him.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Not this again! Anything but this again!  What was this, hell?
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Laughter!
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Tinkling through the sounds of destruction and death, tinkling
like wind chimes all around him. What he saw broke into shards of glass,
sparkling, falling, shimmering in time to the laughter. Then congealled
into a wall of mirrors.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> The laughter grew louder and was joined by the sound of a
calliope.  He recognized that eternally happy laugh.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Sarah!
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> He recognized the scene that grew steadily more real before him.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> St Thomas Church Carnival. Sarah age six standing next to him in
the fun house, laughing at his antics in front of the mirrors that
distorted their forms.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Sarah, his younger sister, in a happy moment, just before the
heat of fever that six weeks later would take her life.
<Chipmonk> Thirty some years ago.  three months before she died.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> She laughed as his image changed shape, "Which one is the real
you, Joey?" She asked.  It was a question she hadn't asked those many years
ago.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> She looked up at the tall man in t shirt and jeans, then down at
his strange white shoes.  Back in the mirror she saw her brother age ten,
putting his fingers in his mouth and pulling his lips wide.  That was Joe
the way she remembered him, before she got so sick and fell asleep.
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk>
<Chipmonk> Testing
<Chipmonk> That was the last two assignments.
<zentao> That's pretty damned good, Chipper.  You done super.
<Spinner> neat, chip.
<Chipmonk> Thank you.  Don't have a clue what it's about.
<Casey> That's sooo cool, Chip!
<zentao> A little rough in the transition between POV's but with a
transtion between -- a small one -- it would be seamless.
<zentao> We're waiting on kissfan and goshi here now.
<zentao> heh,heh.
<zentao> Then we get to do flash, mood, paranormal.
<kissfan> re dulled and calmed as Langolin spoke. his hands unclentched as
he listened to her. His anger subsided a bit more and juorn walked away
from the others. More than anything he wished to be alone to think.  he
knew that he had risked their safety and he hoped that by being alone he
would be able to protect them from Orinth's evil.
<zentao> Ala Stephen King and ilk.
<kissfan> damn that was a hard one
<zentao> You did pretty well, Kissfan.  I would have used His anger
subsiding a bit, Juorn walked away... if that is your POB change.
<kissfan> yes I see
<zentao> In one of the first rewrites of Gath, I had a scene between Jan
and Kahn in a she's bedchamber where the POV switch from the inner
perceptions  or the two characters as well as them bantering.  The POV
switched every two or three sentences.  It was absolutely smooth and
seamless and wonderful in my estimation, but the editor I hired said it
wouldn't fly in the present reading audience.
<Chipmonk> Kissfan, whose anger subsided?  Langolin or Juorn?
<kissfan> Journ's
<Chipmonk> I like those kind of back and forth switches, Zen.
<Chipmonk> Mental tennis.
<zentao> We are still awaiting Gosh's contribution. 
<zentao> He's pounding away at the keyboard.  We can tell by the extreme
slant of his name on the chat list.
<Chipmonk> Now I'm watching his name like I could see him typing!
<zentao> Before we do the flash, mood, paranormal one, let's discuss
bridging elements.
<kissfan> I think I should have gone further with mine
<Casey> Okay
<Goshwin> The houses were arrayed and the doors thrown open. Into the great
hall the procession came, a little human with imperial guard towering over
him. The Kest sire pondered this human and his awkward gate which kept the
guards short stepping in the effort not to trample him. The hall was a
spectacular golden mirror with polished black floors that were patterned in
subtle etchings that lurked in the reflective depths. John could not help
himself, he nervously glanced about as he was lead past the ranks of the
splendidly dressed court.
<Chipmonk> Poor John!
<zentao> A little rough, but it works, Gosh.  I would have started a new
paragraph with "John could not help himself...
<Goshwin> he he he, it twas a rush job (the story of my life)
<zentao> Actually, I'm a guard and I'  secretly licking my chops.  This
visitor looks like a great lunch.
<zentao> Succulent.  very succulent.
<zentao> Full of good juices.
<Casey> A bit of slow roasting . . .
<zentao> Nah.  Raw is best.
<Goshwin> he he (I see your in the spirit of things)
<Casey> There is the difference in our tastes.
<kissfan> Must hear the screams HEHEE
<zentao> Only barbarians cremate their feed.
<Chipmonk> You can't eat the human right there in the court.  There's not
enough to share with everyone.
<Casey> Barbarian, right here.
<zentao> Just think of all those juices and warm slimey gooeys inside the
soft pulped body.  Mmmm.
<Goshwin> who would distain to eat human? except the pets
<Casey> Chip's right.  The fight over the morsels would not be pleasant.
<kissfan> tasty must have more HEHEE
<Chipmonk> Can't bring snacks unless there's enough to pass around.
<Casey> Maybe this snack is a special gift for the Kest.
<zentao> There's not so great a difference in our tastes, Casey.  You like
certain things raw too...like Harold?
<Casey> Zen, you'll save a lot of typing if you make that a newsletter
announcement.  :-)
<zentao> BTW, I'm still waiting for my copies of your books in progress,
Gosh..... TAP TAP TAP/
<Goshwin> EEP!
<Chipmonk> Life is like a human abdomen--you never know what you're gonna
get.
<zentao> More fun this way, Hardcase, but I was going to send Bookie a memo
for the newsletter.  I can include that in the incidents on chat report if
you'd like?
<Casey> No, no!  that's okay.
<zentao> heh, heh. I thought you'd say that.
<Casey> Don't want to spoil your fun, no sireebob
<zentao> Now you get to wait and see what  and if I do write.
<Casey> Uh-oh!
<Chipmonk> Now that we've chewed up Goshes submission...
<zentao> Okay.  Transitional elements in writing.  Or  Setting yourself up
in text.
<zentao> Word begets transitional element for scene shift. 
<Casey> Translated, that means . . .?
<zentao> some key word, or phrase can be inserted into the end paragraph of
a scene to bridge to the next scene.
<Casey> okay!  Understand.
<zentao> I don't suggest you use this a lot, but if you run into a place
where transition seems impossible, this is a device you can use to make it
happen.
<zentao> To use a stereotype, the crack of lightning
<zentao> Or perhaps a light itself, or a sound, or ....
<zentao> smell, taste, any of the senses. 
<Chipmonk> Ummm, like something that triggers a flashback?
<zentao> Try to stay away from flashbacks.
<zentao> As much as possible.
<Casey> Agree.  I've run into problems with flashbacks myself.
<zentao> They are overused and readers identify them as a device an author
uses to fill them in on information about a character or situation.
<Chipmonk> You have flashbacks, Casey?
<kissfan> ok this has been my problem then too many flashbacks
<Casey> Not as long as I stay on my medication.
<zentao> Yeah, she tripped too much as a kid.
<Casey> lol!
<Casey> That last blow to the head did it.
<Chipmonk> Niagra Falls!
<Chipmonk> Old Abbot and Costello routine.
<zentao> In a long book -- 150k or more, two flashbacks is about the max
you can get away with, but they have to be put in so skillfully and
seamlessly....
<zentao> In an 80k wonder, you either have none or at max, one.
<Chipmonk> Okay.
<Goshwin> not unless it a book about the sixties! (oOO wow man, flash back)
<kissfan> ok
<kissfan> HEHEE
<zentao> Of course, there are several books where authors made the entire
book a flashback.  And it works.  But that is different.
<Casey> I was thinking if there's a medical basis for the flashbacks, they
would have to be there--more than 2
<zentao> The actual story still moves in a "now" , even though it is all
history to the prologue or first chapter.
<Chipmonk> As in Slaughterhouse Five.
<zentao> What would the story be about, Casey?
<Casey> a Viet Nam vet suffering post traumatic syndrome.
<zentao> But to base a story around flashbacks ultimately fails with
readers.
<Casey> Yep.  It chops up the story, making it difficult to follow.
<zentao> The story has to be so very interesting to hold them.
<Chipmonk> True.
<zentao> All right. 
<zentao> Let's move to a small exercise again.  Only this time I want you
to visualize.
<zentao> We go back to our open door and our closed door.
<zentao> You are standing in a hallway.  It is a strange hallway.  There is
no sound.
<zentao> Before you is an open door.
<zentao> Sunshine is outside.  It is very bright.
<zentao> The hall is dim in comparison because of the brightness of the
light outside the open door.
<zentao> Still there is NO SOUND.
<zentao> The hall is completely made of wood.  It is opulent.
<zentao> You can smell the wood.
<zentao> The open door is before you, but you just stand there.  NO SOUND.
<zentao> A faint high pitched whine starts suddenly and increases in
intensity (not pitch or volume)  You feel a pressure.  The hall way seems
to tip slantwise sideways.  You are tipped with it, standing in the same
orientation.  The open door does not shift orientation.
<zentao> The whine stops.
<zentao> One small creak -- wood shifting?
<zentao> the door slams shut, the density of the sound deafening....
<zentao> Now write the next paragraph and give us all the shock of our
lives.
<zentao> Place us in crisis -- our own crisis
<Chipmonk> There was nothing to grasp onto as the floor shifted.  He tried
to remain upright but the tilt increased and he lost his balance. He clawed
at the highly polished wood of the floor that rose to meet his face and
showed the relfection of absolute terror. His body held the floor briefly
then slid, swiftly gaining momentum until he was rushing as if down a
bobsled run to the door that now was a gaping maw.
<Chipmonk> 
<zentao> And there were teeth in that maw.  Real teeth.  Sharp teeth.  A
tongue slid toward him as he slid toward it. 
<Chipmonk> Eeep!
<Chipmonk> The tongue took one lick and withdrew suddenly.  Outside there
was a piercing scream.  It was a good thing he was so fond of hot sauce.
<zentao> It picked him up,  wrapped him up inside of itself, curling around
him as it drew him into.  The teeth descending on him, the stench of
something rotten.... 
<Chipmonk> Ewwww!
<zentao> and then grass and birds and the sun bright in his eyes.
<Casey> The slamming of the door plunged the hall into night.  Deaf and now
blind, John reached for the wall, wanting touch to assure some semblance of
sanity.  His hand touched and quickly passed through a wet, spongy
substance that did nothing to slow his sudden off-balanced fall.
<kissfan> he slid toward the now closed door his face showing the signs of
terror.   He looked for something, anything to hold on to, but there was
nothing.  The panic that he felt filled his very being .  his mouth opened
as if to  scream, but there was no sound.  He braced himself for the worst
not knowing what to expect next. the creaking of the wood grew louder and
split as he fell through the gaping hole that appeared.
<zentao> I love it casey.
<zentao> Good Kissfan.
<Casey> Thanks, Zen.
<Chipmonk> I'm gonna have nightmares!!
<kissfan> thanks Zen
<zentao> Was it just a dream?  All he'd done was put his finger in that
hole in the ground next to him.  He reached his finger toward the hole
again....
<Chipmonk> Stupid!!
<zentao> (I was finishing off Chip and my interaction to her post that I
was playing with while I waited.
<Casey> I wouldn't put my finger in a hole!
<Chipmonk> Can't he hear the scary background music!
<zentao> I would put my finger in the hole again.
<Casey> Some people just don't listen for background music Chip.
<zentao> I survived once just fine.  Besides, reality is but a state of
mind.
<Chipmonk> And then what happens!
<zentao> And as usual, we await Goshi.  heh,hhe.
<zentao> What would you like to have happen?
<zentao> Nothing happens.
<Casey> Kapow!  Instant regret.
<kissfan> yep his next "book" LOL
<Casey> I recognized some of his current book.
<Chipmonk> Its one of those chinese finger grabbers.
<zentao> But if you read through that little interlude, it shows you a bit
how a writer can use transitions to go anywhere they want to, and with a
bit of rewirte, do it logically and seamlessly.
<zentao> the one thing a writer HAS to have is logic.
<Chipmonk> Very true.
<Casey> Absolutely.
<kissfan> yes very true
<zentao> The story cannot do anything implausible.  It has to make sense
within the human mind.
<Chipmonk> Even in the most fantastic fantasy.
<Goshwin> The house shuddered and groaned as if spirits possessed it. He
was thrown down as gravity suddenly increased and pinned him. He struggled
to gain his feet as a rushing roar filled his ears. Staggering to the door
he clawed at the vibrating handle. Throwing open the door, he nearly
stepped into the open space beyond. He beheld a  retreating cloudscape
below, above loomed the metal thing that held his home in an octopus grip.
<Chipmonk> Gosh went a whole different way with it--up!
<Casey> Dorothy!  Where's Dorothy?
<Goshwin> he he he, aliens like early victorian
<zentao> I love it.  Leave it to gosh to NOT do Stephen King ala mode.
<zentao> Now Casey brought up transitions -- smooth transitions -- between
elements of sentences and between sentences and between paragraphs.  That
gets into the actual techniques of using language. 
<zentao> there is a basic pattern that you use to do it.  The last sentence
of a paragraph must be able to be used as the first sentence in the next.
<zentao> The same is true of sentences.  The last phrase of a sentence
should be able to be used as the first phrase of the next.
<zentao> That is why paragraphing becomes more and more difficult as you
become a better and better technician with grammar and syntax.
<zentao> Once mastered, it is how a writer can change sentence and
paragraph length to visually suit the editors/publishers needs and sculpt
his paragraphs to visually stimulate.
<zentao> Any questions?
<zentao> Good.
<zentao> I guess it's a wrap then.  I tried to present everything in as
short and succinct a method as possible without getting too deep.  I hope
this provided you with an entertaining evening and perhaps an idea or two
to help you.
<Casey> When I first began to write, I had only books that I loved to teach
me how.  I would study how the writers I admired constructed their
paragraphs, sentences, etc. 
<zentao> *Hmm, Zen says to himself, I guess I bored them to sleep.*
<Chipmonk> No it was very good.
<Goshwin> ZZzzzz ZZzz *Snork* Huh what?? (kiding just kidding)
<kissfan> I enjoyed every minute actually
<Casey> Yes, Zen, thank you.  In none of the books I borrowed from the
library could I find more than a paragraph that addressed transitions and
their uses.
<Goshwin> hey you got me to write a little something.. A feat with my
current time limits!!!
<Casey> See, see!  You CAN make time to write
<zentao> Heh, heh.  and you should be doing MORE writing, Gosh.
<Chipmonk> You write very well and with originality, Gosh.
<Casey> Every time we're in chat with Gosh, let's give him a writing
assignment.  :-)
<kissfan> and now I think I can finish destiny calls I now have a way of
ending it thanks
<Goshwin> Well, when I got the email, I said to myself.. (Screw work.. im
doing this)
<Casey> Great, Kathy!!
<zentao> Well, I hope it was worth it, Gosh. 
<Goshwin> it was...
<Chipmonk> Great! Kissfan!
<Chipmonk> Hey!  I actually wrote something--anything.
<Casey> (For how long have you been talking to yourself, Gosh?)
<zentao> So then you can rewrite it and then edit it and then submit it,
KF.
<Goshwin> GRIN
<kissfan> yes I think so *gulp*
<zentao> I talk to myself all the time.  It the result of having to deal
with women.
<Casey> HA!
<Goshwin> he he he, thats it, pressure!!
<Casey> I talk to myself, but it's a symptom of boredom.
<zentao> Only in the rewrite is the book actually born.
<zentao> and that means a REAL rewrite, not just going over the text
onscreen.  It means printing out the draft and then sitting down and typing
the whole thing in again.
<zentao> You will be amazed at what happens.
<kissfan> and the mistakes I will find  HEHEE
<zentao> New scenes will come in.  Old scenes will disappear.  ...
<zentao> Anyway, children, I am going to go back to bed now.
<kissfan> and it may completely change as I go
<zentao> It may.
<Chipmonk> Bed sounds good.
<Casey> Okay, Zen.  Thank you again.  I've enjoyed the whole evening. 
<zentao> this kid has to work all night in cyber space.
<Goshwin> Aww its done?
<Casey> And as usual, I've learned from you.
<zentao> I doubt it, Hardcase.
<kissfan> and so have I
<Chipmonk> Definitely.
<zentao> It doesn't have to be Gosh.
<zentao> What would you like to do? 
<Casey> Humph!  Why do you doubt it?
<zentao> You write excellent transitions.
<Goshwin> any number of things.. more of the same would be fine
<Goshwin> who me?
<Casey> Thank you. 
<Casey> Writing well does NOT mean that I don't continually learn, even if
it's learning a name for a technique I've been using all along.
<kissfan> I didn't think that I could think that fast like I did tonight
<Casey> It's amazing what you can do when you're put on the spot, Kathy.
<kissfan> ya I guess so I even surprised myself
<kissfan> tonight I really got thinking about characters and things I
haven't thought about in a while
<Casey> that's the benefit of these classes, giving you a different
perspective, getting the opportunity to see how other members can write the
same topic and come out so differently.
<kissfan> ya I know that is why I wanted to join up with Z7 I knew it would
help me think clearly and better my writing
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