CHAT ARCHIVE - 5-19-00
The Techniques of Tension

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ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sat May 20 23:20:38 2000

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<Casey> Computer disasters and social obligations have taken their toll
tonight.
<Sea Witch> Yeah. Soneone else's turn to have a crash/
<Casey> I'm starting. Russ can come in in the middle.
<shorty103> okay
<Casey> Tonight's discussion concerns creating tension, which is very close
to suspence.
<Sea Witch> Tell Mr SW his dinner is going to be an hour late. You can cut
the tension with a knife!
<Casey> That's the delay technique, SW.
<Sea Witch> Then he threatens to suspend me. From the bannisters
<Casey> Followed by the threat technique.
<Casey> Good order.
<Casey> he he
<Sea Witch> Doesn't work though. heh heh
<shorty103> LOL
<Sea Witch> Depending on my mood he will either get playfully goosed or told
to bugger off
<Casey> Here, though, I was going to start off with much more basic
tension-building tricks, then work up to broader theory.
<Sea Witch> You go right ahead Casey
<Sea Witch> I'm all fingers and eyes
<Casey> The most basic you can get are individual words.
<Sea Witch> Duck!
<shorty103> yes please, the more basic the better at the moment, this is a
new trick for me,
<Casey> The words you chose, convey tension or not.
<Sea Witch> Grenade!
<Sea Witch> Incoming!
<Sea Witch> And many, many more
<Sea Witch> Heh heh
<shorty103> Gremade ?
<shorty103> what is that
<Casey> Welcome, Russ.
<Sea Witch> Grenade...pineapple...you know
<Sea Witch> Hiya Russ
<Casey> What soldiers throw--that blows up.
<shorty103> SW, you sometimes use words I have never heard of. Okay, now
I understand, thanks for explaining
<Casey> NP
<Russ> We're talking about building tension tonight aren't we?
<Casey> Witchie's got the exact idea, though. Some words produce a strong,
fear-invoking reaction in people.
<shorty103> my spelling is for the birds, that is why I didn't know the
word, but if I heard you say in person, I would have known off the bat
what you meant
<Casey> Yes, Russ.
<Casey> Fire! Especially when yelled in a crowded theatre.
<shorty103> LOL, then there would be panic! hehehe
<Sea Witch> Bomb!
<Russ> I recieved an interesting email from a writing list the other day.
The key was not to explain anything. To just show what happens without
getting into the why
<Casey> Other words are more subtle, but convey a specific impression by
associations.
<shorty103> now that's interesting
<Sea Witch> Like "Oh, shit!
<shorty103> LOL
<shorty103> Tornato!
<Sea Witch> Tomato?
<shorty103> mine's even worse Casey,
<Casey> Tornado, I think she meant, SW.
<Sea Witch> LOL
<Russ> I'd run faster from someone yelling tomato
<Sea Witch> Me too. It's a bugger to wash out of cloths
<shorty103> no, the whirl wind blew so hard that it lifted the roof right
off of the house.
<shorty103> and you were right Casey, see I can't spell for beans!
<Casey> "I got terrible news today," he said. "Momma's in the hospital."
Compared to, "I got terrible news today." He paused. "Momma's in the
hospital."
<Sea Witch> Sort of the same result as a scouts beenfeast
<shorty103> LOL, so excuse me why I blow up my chair tonight
<Sea Witch> I shudder at the thought <g>
<shorty103> LOL
<Casey> Rose has just gone weird!
<shorty103> LOL, well, it's just one of those nights! but where did the
full moon go! it's not because of that!
<Sea Witch> Prehaps it's the green vaopur inside her blast radius
<Russ> Casey, Witchie, what do you think of the idea I recieved?
<Sea Witch> Damned good one
<Casey> What are some less blatant words of danger than what you've been
giving so far? After all, we can't have bombs, grenades, and
tornados/tomatoes in every paragraph.
<Casey> There's a good point to it, Russ. Too many writers explain every
single leaf, rock, and action to death. That's not necessary.
<Russ> As long as you, the writer, knows why things happen, you can use the
simple facts of what happen to build tension.
<Casey> But by the actions, the why must come across to the reader.
<Sea Witch> Sounds work
<Sea Witch> And smells.
<Sea Witch> Tiny noises
<Sea Witch> And big ones
<Sea Witch> Instincts
<Casey> I was thinking more along the lines of actual words, SW. Like
knife, pain, stalked, dead, hostage, hesitated
<Sea Witch> Stabbed
<Sea Witch> heh heh
<Sea Witch> butchered
<Sea Witch> shall I continue?
<Casey> trembled
<Sea Witch> bludgeoned
<Sea Witch> flinched
<Casey> That's okay. We know your bloodlust.
<Russ> E.G. (and this will be bad), Jesefia turned his back on Gorm. He
closed his eyes and slowed his breathing, repeating the words over and over.
He ignored Gorm's hot breath on the back of his neck, sending himself
deeper. Only after Gorm's scream tore through the air did he turn to look
as flesh dripped off Gorm's hand to pool on the floor
<shorty103> the little boy let go of his mother's hand. In just a blink of
an eye his dashed into the middle of the street. The mother called, no
where to be found. Sharply she turned as she heard a faint screem, then
looked in the middle of the road. Oh no! the mother screamed in horor!
<Casey> "He ignored" takes the reader out of J's POV, Russ. How could you
get the breath down the neck without leaving your character?
<shorty103> and that was just off the top of my head, sorry, I didn't know
if we were aloud to write something like that or not,
<Russ> I told you it would be bad <g>
<Russ> You're allowed to write whatever you want.
<shorty103> LOL
<Sea Witch> Tommy sliced the carrots just the way his Mom had shown him. He
loved the wet scrunchy sound of the n=knife going through vegetable. Until
he heard and felt a wet thunk. Suddenly the carrots weren't orange any
more.
<Casey> (I know you're struggling with integration, that's why I mentioned
it.)
<Casey> Witchie, you made my toes curl. Good work.
<Sea Witch> Witchie takes a bow
<Casey> Try words of urgency now.
<shorty103> I try, but sometimes it's easy, and other times it's very hard
to think on the spot, but when your talking about something else, I hate
when I get those ideas and put it in mid stream of another topic
<Sea Witch> Run!
<Casey> deadline
<Casey> inevitable
<Casey> delinquent
<Russ> Casey, can you give us a weak verb to play with?
<Casey> I thought you were on topic, Rose.
<Casey> was
<Casey> said
<shorty103> LOL okay, sometimes it happens, and sometimes it don't!
<Casey> another weak verb: walked
<Russ> I don't like playing with said, too easy to fall into the trap of
hissing chortling bellowing, every line of dialogue
<Russ> Trotted
<Sea Witch> Yeah. I hate that too.
<Russ> Strolled
<Russ> ambled
<Sea Witch> wandered
<Casey> stumbled implies things amiss.
<Russ> meandered
<shorty103> now are we suppose to create something with these words
<Russ> sped
<Casey> Strolled isn't tension-generating, though.
<Casey> sped is good.
<Russ> rushed
<Casey> ran
<Casey> staggered
<Russ> Strolled could build tension in context. If the person is strolling
into a trap the reader knows is coming
<Sea Witch> Hey, I was going to do that one!
<Casey> You're right, Russ
<shorty103> LOL
<Sea Witch> Yeah, sort of hop, skip and thump
<shorty103> LOL
<Casey> Okay, go to words that imply fear
<Sea Witch> Chilling
<Russ> strangled
<Casey> pounded
<shorty103> finger nails that are two inches long!
<Casey> Single words, Rose! That's a phrase.
<Russ> tense
<shorty103> sorry
<Sea Witch> appalling
<Russ> female
<Casey> hid
<Casey> LOL! Bad Russ.
<Sea Witch> nauseating
<Russ> clenched
<Casey> twisted
<Russ> hidden
<Sea Witch> scary
<Casey> threat
<Sea Witch> spooky
<Russ> dark
<Russ> dank
<Casey> All good ones.
<Russ> dripping
<shorty103> sorry, it seems like this part my brain goes numb, can't
think!
<Sea Witch> frightful
<Casey> Russ is creating an entire scenario in my mind by those few words
alone.
<Russ> here’s another Casey...malodorous
<Sea Witch> Russ has a cellar. an Apple cellar.....
<Russ> (live in a third floor apt <g>)
<Russ> sticky
<Sea Witch> foreboding
<Sea Witch> anxious
<shorty103> slippery
<Casey> Okay, you folks have the words. Now, let's move on to sentences.
<Casey> Specifically, sentence order.
<Sea Witch> disturbed
<Russ> Hey, don't rush me here!
<shorty103> Oh my! now I'm in trouble!
<Casey> You can type words while I explain the next assignment, Russ.
<Casey> crowd
<Russ> Nah, I don't want to disturb the class
<Casey> You've come home. In three or four sentences, explain the discovery
of your roommate's (spouse's) unplanned departure.
<Casey> Like, s/he's moved out without telling you.
<Sea Witch> The reeking bow shock of impending death rode ahead of the
oncoming tidal wave
<Russ> The apartment was clean, something I didn't expect. Not only that,
no laughter or screams came up from the kids room. In fact, the entire
place reeked of silence. Then I saw the folded sheet of paper taped to the
TV.
<Sea Witch> Discarded clothes littered the floor. The hangers, naked and
huddled together seemed to cringe as I opened the wardrobe door. It was the
empty space where the golfbag usually lived that clinched it. The bastard
had left me
<shorty103> I put the key in the door, but to my surprise the door was
already unlocked. As I entered, I looked around. Nothing! No furniture to
sit on, not even a dish to be found in the cupboard. He took everything. "
I knew it!" she said, " I knew he would do this! It was just a matter of
time."
<Casey> John reached for the faucet to wash his hands and noticed a lone
toothbrush in the toothbrush holder. He turned the water off and dried his
hands on his pants on the way to the bedroom. Janie's nightgown wasn't
thrown over the bedpost. Yanking open her dresser drawer, the empty space
assaulted his senses, accusing him of all the things he'd failed to do for
her.
<Casey> Y'all handled those well!
<shorty103> I did!
<Casey> Rose's friend brought in a truck, even!
<Casey> He'd been planning that move for awhile.
<Sea Witch> Never do things by halves is what I say
<Sea Witch> LOl
<shorty103> I'm even surprising myself tonight!
<Sea Witch> Just don't throw any more tomatoes
<shorty103> LOL, hehehehehe
<shorty103> well, I call it a twister okay
<Casey> In each paragraph, you built up to the climax, the moment of
realization. That's exactly what should occur.
<Sea Witch> It's logical doing it that way.
<Russ> Then forget it! I thumb my nose at Logic!
<Casey> But a lot of beginning writers state what's happened, then supply
the details that substantiate the statement.
<shorty103> funny thing Casey, I really wasn't thinking about it like you
had described, it just came out that way!
<Sea Witch> So Russ. You don't grok Spock then
<shorty103> I must be learning something!
<Russ> Creative leaps of faith, connected only by the weakest of tennets,
thats for me.
<Russ> I gotta go, Heather just got home.
<Sea Witch> Just so long as you don't fall into the abyss. Evil cackle
<shorty103> LOL, nice to see you again Russ
<Casey> Enjoy yourselves tonight, Russ.
<Sea Witch> Bye Russ. Nice to see ya again
<Russ> Take Care all. Write Hard!
<Sea Witch> Sure thing
<Casey> The trick to creating tension is to create questions in the reader's
mind.
<shorty103> so how am I doing tonight Casey, I'm not really sure of myself
sometimes on this sort of thing
<Sea Witch> Like, "Why the hell am I reading this junk?"
<shorty103> LOL
<Casey> What does the littered clothes signify?
<Casey> Not quite, SW. We want better questions than that.
Sea Witch> That's what I find myself asking more aften than not these days
<Sea Witch> Clothes I had bought but forgot to mention
<shorty103> why did he murder her, what did she ever do to him
<Sea Witch> Huh?
<Casey> I know, SW. I've found myself in the same situation recently.
<shorty103> well, I thought Casey asked for a better question, so I thought
that was it
<Sea Witch> Ah, sorry Rose. Yes, very astute
<shorty103> np SW
<Casey> Think even smaller questions than that, Rose.
<Sea Witch> I've been reading the Canterbury Tales recently. I'd forgotten
how good it was
<shorty103> I'm sitting here listening to my writing music and hearing some
strange sounds, like what goes bump in the night? Cat's playing!
<Casey> The large issues, like someone's murder, won't get your reader past
boring paragraphs.
<shorty103> okay, Casey, sorry
<Casey> Don't be sorry! You're on the right track.
<Sea Witch> What goes bump in the night are two scrounging springers on a
midnight raid of my son's bedroom
<shorty103> LOL
<Casey> He keeps good things like partially eaten sandwiches and cookie
crumbs there?
<Casey> (I'm demonstrating story questions in SW's last post.)
<shorty103> what secret did she have that made him act so strangely towards
her
<Casey> Why would the springers raid son's bedroom?
<Casey> Now that's a good one, Rose.
<Sea Witch> Usually biccies and chocolate
<Casey> I'll be right over!
<shorty103> was she able to tell anyone? who?
<Sea Witch> Which of those two flowerpot men? Was it Bill or was it Ben?
<Casey> You can create questions by mentioning oddities but not addressing
the signifiance right away.
<Casey> However, DO eventually explain why the oddity was significant.
<shorty103> explain
<Casey> Like, there was only 1 toothbrush in the bathroom.
<Casey> So?
<shorty103> I'm not sure I follow here
<Sea Witch> But surely that was self explanatory
<Casey> There are two people living in the house.
<shorty103> Okay, strarting to get it
<Casey> The knife was on the counter, not in the woodblock.
<shorty103> like the room mate that knew to much, and didn't know where to
turn
<Sea Witch> Until he turned into a corpse
<Casey> Which explains the bloody footprints leading to the back door.
<Sea Witch> The elephant's footprint was in the margarine and not the butter
<Casey> LOL!
<shorty103> LOL
<Sea Witch> There were thirteen people crammed into the 'phone booth but one
corner was ominously empty
<Casey> The invisible man!
<Casey> Line-by-line tension is called "surface tension." In scenes that
lack blatant action (like a woman running screaming from the ax-wielding
stalker), tension is most often achieved through character interaction.
<Sea Witch> Like, "C'm 'ere ya bitch and let me eviscerate you!"
<shorty103> she could hear noise, but not fully awake to move. Her ears
seemed to tune into every little noise now. Scared, she didn't want to
leave the comfort of the bed, but yet her heart raced with uneasiness. Who
was there, what were they doing!
<Casey> If you were in bed and an ax murderer was in you house, would you
care about the comfort of the bed? To me, the bed would feel very, very
unsafe.
<shorty103> not to good!
<Casey> I'd be up out of that bed and reaching in the closet for the rifle!
<Casey> THEN I'd wonder who was there and why.
<shorty103> LOL
<Sea Witch> He lay still. So long as he didn't move he would be safe. A
warm wind blew, carrying fine grains of dust and pollen. His eyes watered
and, uncontrollably, he sneezed. The beast pounced
<shorty103> what if she stayed there out of fear.
<Sea Witch> The Springers would have flattened him long before he got any
murderous ideas
<shorty103> she was so scared she couldn't move
<Casey> That I could believe, but get rid of the word "comfort"
<Sea Witch> That's right Casey. My brain is turning to boiled cabbage.
<shorty103> okay, np
<Casey> Comfort is what you experience when you're relaxed.
<shorty103> but other than that, was it okay
<Casey> In tense scenes or passages, use tense words.
<Casey> Yes, Rose.
<shorty103> I don't know that many words that could use in tense scenes
<Casey> In scenes that tense, Rose, another trick is to use short sentences.
Short sentences are quick to read, so the pace (and tension) automatically
picks up.
<Sea Witch> How about...stretched elastic?
<Sea Witch> LOL
<shorty103> okay, understand, thinking!
<Sea Witch> Staying in bed out of fear only works with the monster under the
bed
<Casey> A thump woke her. Emily lifted her head off the pillow, wide awake,
and listened.
<Sea Witch> How about - A thump awoke her. Startled, Emily lifted her head
off the pillow and listened.
<Casey> There was a shuffling in the hall. She threw the blanket aside.
<Sea Witch> Those bloody Springers have managed to get into the bread bin
<Casey> "Startled" works as a transition in her awakening.
<shorty103> just as she got comfortable in bed, she heard a strange noise
coming from the other room. She wanted to cover her head and hide, but the
noise just didn't sound right. "Who's there!" she yelled. She heard the
noise again. She jumped out of bed, made her way to the bedroom door. She
was very nervous, and kept a baseball bat behind the bedroom door, she
grabbed for it. Slowly opening the door, she raised the bat.
<Casey> Sometimes, if absolutely nothing is happening in a transitional
scene, you can give the scene forward momentum by implying some kind of
threat. The expectation of conflict or action works to hold reader interest
and give the piece momentum.
<Sea Witch> Clare struggled desperately for a hold in the smooth mud. Her
nails snapped and snagged as she dug her fingers deep into the slippery
surface. Despite her efforts she began her inexorable silde towards the
raging torrent far below.
<shorty103> okay, I tried to listen to that advice, and did it a different
way, I don't think it worked this time either.

<Casey> How about "slick" instead of "smooth"? Just a little stronger
menace there.
<Sea Witch> Gotcha!
<Casey> Rose, I would not have opened that door. I'd had gotten a good grip
on the baseball bat with both hands and waited for that dude to open that
door. Then, WHACKO!
<shorty103> but is it a little better
<Sea Witch> I think it’s Witchie's beddy-byes time
<Casey> You're still explaining a lot that you don't really have to. "She
grabbed for the baseball bat behind the bathroom door" is enough. The
reader will figure out on their own, "Hey, she keeps a bat behind the door!"
<Casey> Glad to see you again, Witchie.
<Sea Witch> Pick axe handles are better. More weight in 'em
<shorty103> okay, Casey, and nite nite SW
<Casey> Goodnight, Witchie.
<Sea Witch> Nite. See ya soon.
<shorty103> okay, it's just the two of us now, Oh my! am I in trouble!
<Casey> No you're not.
<shorty103> just kidding
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