CHAT ARCHIVE - 8-26-2000, Emotional Impact

--------------------------------------
ICQ Chat Save file
Started on Sun Aug 27 02:09:44 2000

--------------------------------------
<Casey> Tonight's grammar lesson addresses capitalization.
<Casey> Words that are always capitalized: The first word of a sentence (hint, hint!), and the pronoun "I"
<Rudedog> Proper nouns
<Casey> Even words that aren't normally capitalized are capitalized when they begin a sentence.
<Casey> Ex-President Johnson attended the inauguration, is an example.
<kissfan> Suddenly there was a knock on the door.
<Casey> The first word of a line of poetry is capitalized, although that's a traditional rule that is broken with frequency by modern poets.
<Casey> Rude gave us proper nouns, which includes their abbreviations and common nouns used as proper nouns.
<Casey> George is abbreviated Geo. William, Wm. Both are capitalized.
<Casey> Specific organizations: The Department of Justice.
<Casey> Historical events: The French Revolution, the Civil War
<Casey> documents: Declaration of Independence; Writer's Digest; War and Peace; The Saturday Evening Star.
<Casey> titles, when they precede a proper noun: Professor Jones. Mr. Howard, Judge Judy.
<Casey> When titles follow a name, they are not capitalized unless they indicate high distinction: Mary Williams, president of First Union Bank.
<Casey> "High distinction" would be: Richard Nixon, President of the United States; Mary, Queen of Scots.
<Casey> Casey, Director of Zentao 7. (This is a test to see who's not paying attention. he he)
<Jean> ha ha
<Casey> It's you and me, Jean.
<Jean> that's how I'm seeing it, anyway.
<kissfan> High distinction, Casey?
<kissfan> HEHEE
<shorty103> hehehe, yes Casey, your the Director of Zentao 7
<Casey> Common names are capitalized only when they are used as an essential part of a proper noun. Vine Street, Pacific Ocean, Lake Erie, are examples.
<Casey> When is father capitalized?
<Jean> a priest?
<Casey> No. The familial relationship.
<kissfan> a priest.
<Jean> our Father who art in Heaven
<shorty103> at the beginning of a sentence
<Casey> Yes, Jean. When Father refers to a being of religious significance.
<Casey> Rose is right, too.
<shorty103> cool
<Casey> Also, when it's used in place of your father's name. As in, "Saturday, Father told us we could go fishing."
<Casey> When father is preceded by a possessive pronoun (my, your, our), it is not capitalized.
<Casey> North, south, east, and west are not capitalized unless they refer to a specific geographical location.
<Casey> The North won the war. I'm from the deep South.
<Casey> We were headed north by north-east, indicates direction and is not capitalized.
<Jean> Southern California?
<Casey> Yes, Jean. That indicates a region.
<shorty103> Eastern Canada?
<Casey> Yep.
<shorty103> so if I write: I'm from Saint John, New Brunswick. I am using the caps correctly?
<kissfan> yep
<shorty103> cool!
<Casey> That concludes our grammar lesson. Except to say, I'd like to see those members who have fallen into the habit of not capitalizing and punctuating messages to begin doing so. Good writing is as much a habit as anything else we do, and I'd like you folks to begin to break the bad writing habits you're developing
<Casey> It may slow you down a little bit in class, but it will be worth the effort in the long run.
<shorty103> okay, you caught me!
<Casey> Capitalize that O, Rose!
<shorty103> Okay
<Casey> I won't name you culprits. You know who you are. :-)
<Jean> <<<naming own culprit
<Jean> But hey, I knew I was doing it wrong on purpose.
<shorty103> Me too! hehehe
<Jean> Just being lazy.
<Casey> That's how bad habit begin is through laziness, and they do begin to carry over into your creative writing.
<shorty103> Same here. But sometimes my fingers just don't want to work right.
<Jean> Okay, mental note made.
<shorty103> I know! One excuse leads to another.
<Casey> Look at every writing exercise, even chats, as a creative writing opportunity.
<Casey> We all make occasional mistakes, Rose. That's understandable.
<shorty103> But it seems I do it all the time, and there is no excuse for it.
<Casey> After awhile, you'll begin to notice a difference in even your drafts, if you've gotten into the habit of good writing every time you write anything.
<Casey> You're doing great right now!
<Casey> Okay, enough lecture. On to tonight's topic.
<Casey> Emotional Impact.
<Casey> What is it?
<shorty103> Yes, more so when writing business letters. They are very important to have good habits.
<kissfan> There you go again Rose! HEHEE
<Jean> When Jessica hears the news about her husbands fatal car accident.
<Jean> (That's my emotional impact, anyway)
<kissfan> Even when you are in here you end up saying that B word LOL
<Casey> Rose is using business writing as writing exercises. I do, too, since I don't get time to write creatively as much as I'd like.
<shorty103> Emotional Impact is when a character or characters react to a death, or injury to someone. I know, it was an example.
<Casey> It keeps our writing skills sharp for when we do work on our stories.
<kissfan> LOL I am trying to get her mind off business more HEHEE
<Casey> I know. But she's writing! I'm happy about that.
<Casey> Yes, Jean.
<Casey> Emotional impact is how your characters react to story events.
<kissfan> Ya I am trying to get her back into creative writing more though
<Rudedog> Okay, I'm back. Wew. My little brother and mother borrowed the comp for a few min
<Casey> What is the second emotional impact in creative writing?
<Rudedog> I was reduced to screaming in the background
<Casey> So that's what all that noise was!
<Rudedog> No, it's like screamin in space
<shorty103> a fight between two characters and someone caught in the middle
<Casey> The second emotional impact is how your story affects your reader(s).
<Jean> Ahhhh
<Rudedog> No, not my favorite character! Arggg
<Rudedog> Lynch him! lynch the author!
<Casey> lol
<Rudedog> (Ever felt like saying this?)
<kissfan> Yep when I read my own stuff HEHEE
<Rudedog> lol
<Casey> *Nervously looks around for Crip.* Whew! He's not here.
<Rudedog> 0_o
<kissfan> LOL
<Casey> Ideally, you want your reader to feel the emotional impact that story events are having on your character.
<shorty103> I don't know how to put it, but it's like the reader is feeling the emotional impact instead of just reading it.
<Rudedog> what happened to soul? I haven't heard from her in a while
<Rudedog> or him
<Casey> Soulmoon's a him.
<Rudedog> him then
<Soulmoon> I'm an active listener.
<Rudedog> ahhhh
<Rudedog> (#\_/#)
<Casey> To understand emotional impact, we need to understand when emotional reaction strays into melodrama and how to avoid that.
<Rudedog> Huh, what's wrong with that?
<Rudedog> ^_-
<Jean> <<has been accused of being melodramatic
<kissfan> lol always!
<Casey> Then can you explain that which you were accused of?
<Jean> Okay, shall I cut and paste an example?
<Casey> Sure, Jean.
<Jean> brb
<Casey> The definition of melodrama is: "a dramatic form in which exaggeration of effect and emotion is produced and plot or action is emphasized at the expense of characterization."
<Casey> While we're waiting for Jean's example, can the rest of you give me some examples made up on the spot?
<shorty103> sorry Casey, can't think at the moment.
<Casey> She flung a wrist to her forehead and sighed heavily.
<Casey> Lily Belle screamed as she was tied to the railroad tracks.
<Rudedog> "But your the son of the left bishop! You can't be a stripper!"
<Rudedog> Cliche Emotion...
<kissfan> LOL
<Casey> I actually like that one.
<kissfan> Me too!
<Casey> You have a tough time being melodramtic, don't you?
<Jean> With an animated look on her face and her hand covering her heart,
<Jean> Josephine smiled and said, "I'm hurt that you even thought of such a thing."
trying to paste, but not working
<Rudedog> ?? huh
<Jean> oh, guess it did work
<Casey> That came through.
<Casey> The one doing the copy and pasting rarely can read their own post.
<Casey> Yes, Jean, that's melodramatic.
<Casey> Good example.
<Jean> But it was supposed to be.
<kissfan> It worked Jean
<Rudedog> so mine didn't?
<kissfan> I mean her copy and pasting
<Casey> I couldn't find melodrama in yours, Rude.
<Jean> When you read my example, can you tell that I was being melodramatic on purpose?
<Rudedog> darn, too good for my own good
<Casey> Exactly, Rude. You're doomed to life as a good writer.
<Rudedog> doh!
<kissfan> LOL yep
<Rudedog> I guess I'll have to expand it
<Casey> That might have been the problem with your example, Jean: The reader was thrown off because it didn't follow with the seriousness preceding it.
<Jean> Oh, I see. Thanks.
<Casey> Or reactions of other characters did not carry along the comic relief intended by what you wrote.
<Rudedog> "But your the son of the left bishop! You can't be a stripper!"
<Rudedog> said the priest, a little spittal forming in the corner of his mouth. "I have no choice, it's my calling," the youth replied, his tutu blowing in the wind
<Casey> That's getting better (or worse, according to one's perspective), Rude. But it still seems like an obvious comedy.
<shorty103> She sits there with sweat dripping off of her forehead, " Why me! Why did this have to happen to me! " tearing another Kleenex from the box.
<kissfan> OH MY! LOL
<Casey> "the youth replied, fluffing up his tutu." extends the melodramatic effect even further.
<Casey> Good one, Rose!
<Jean> Even though my character smirks after Josephine makes that statement?
<Rudedog> doh!
<Casey> What is Jessica's reaction to Josephine's dramatics?
<Casey> (You just told me! Duh)
<shorty103> Casey, that was off the top of my head, and what I'm saying to myself at the moment.
<Rudedog> "He's a transexual Neo-Nazi escimo," the man shouted at the crowd. "Right," said a man, while the subject in question continued to wave his swastica painted genitalia in the wind.
<Jean> Hey Casey, I just looked at the chapter I submitted and it looks like I left off Jessica's reaction.
<Casey> Establishment of a certain type of interaction will allow deliberate melodramatic moments to occur and feel right.
<Jean> I think I need to put it back in.
<Jean> Too funny, Rude!
<Casey> Jessica's reaction would be the key factor in how that passage is perceived by a reader, Jean.
<Rudedog> Doh!
<Jean> Yep, I get it. Thanks,
<Casey> NOW you've got it, Rude!
<Rudedog> I can't write sucky! I'm a failure!
<Jean> Just wait, Rude. We haven't critiqued your chapter yet! Ha Ha Ha
<Rudedog> or is that a success? A failing success? A successful failure? Doh
<Casey> A successful failure.
<Jean> I think it's an oxymoron
<Casey> Okay. How is emotion revealed by and among characters?
<Rudedog> hm, I think I have an better/worse example in me yet
<Casey> The general ways. Not specific.
<Jean> By the looks on other's faces.
<Casey> Yes, Jean. Physical symptoms.
<Jean> By their body language.
<kissfan> Body language
<Casey> How about through spoken words?
<Jean> gmta, Kathy.
<Jean> Yep, that too.
<kissfan> LOL yep
<Casey> One more.
<Rudedog> "you know, I'm starting to get the feeling that they don't like us," said Gerard to himself as the torturer tightened the straps on the stretching machine.
<Casey> Rude got it! Through thoughts.
<Jean> Wow, and I don't even think he did it on purpose even!
<Jean> You slid right into that one, Rude!
<Rudedog> lol, and all this time I thought that was just character's being impossibly dense
<kissfan> LOL I don't think he did either
<Casey> I think he's still working on melodrama.
<Jean> <<agrees with Casey
<Rudedog> *shrug*
<Casey> Okay, now for the nitty gritty.
<Jean> That's one thing that sucks in movies, you don't know how they feel.
<Casey> What kind of thoughts evoke an emotional reaction in a reader?
<Rudedog> fear, anger, betrayal, death, loss
<Casey> I agree, Jean.
<Casey> Portrayed how, Rude?
<Casey> Think about what kinds of thoughts people can have.
<Rudedog> When characters think these thought to the reader, he reacts to them
<Rudedog> Character emotion breeds reader emotion
<Casey> Like, deadly calm thoughts in the middle of a crisis.
<Rudedog> Yes, the opposite can work too
<Casey> Frenetic thoughts.
<Casey> How about, detached thoughts?
<Casey> Calculating.
<shorty103> Or the "what if's" that people sometimes asks themselves. I know at the moment I am going through that emotion.
<Casey> That could be considered frenetic thoughts--frantic searching for answers.
<Rudedog> ???
<Casey> The way in which your character thinks can create an emotional reaction in your reader.
<Rudedog> contrasts between character and reader?
<Rudedog> I don't have emotional responses to frantic
<Casey> Contrasts, too, between story action and character's handling of self, as revealed through his thoughts.
<Rudedog> unless there is something else going on
<Casey> The contrast would be a boring conversation and a character on the verge of panic.
<Casey> One key to creating reader emotional reaction is through the use of contrasts.
<Casey> Showing how the character is at odds or in agreement with the events happening around him/her.
<Rudedog> I don't understand Casey. I think I know what you getting at, but I don't understand where you're going.
<Rudedog> Perhaps an example would help
<Casey> Okay. Let's do the exercise now then that I was going to get in a little later.
<Casey> The purpose or goal of these techniques is to elicit an emotional reaction in the person reading your story, Rude.
<Casey> Character reaction to other characters is expected, and what we're all accustomed to creating in our stories. What I'm trying for now, is to get you to create a gut reaction in the person reading your story.
<Jean> What is the exercise?
<Casey> How often, when we're writing, do we even think about the stranger who will one day read what we're writing?
<kissfan> I think about them constantly while I am writing
<Jean> me too
<Rudedog> every now and then
<Rudedog> I wonder how much I need to explain
<Rudedog> since not every reader will be as knowledgeable as I am
<Jean> I over explain, just to get my point across
<Casey> On to the exercise. Without yet going through the entire list of possible emotion-generating scenarios, write a segment that will convey an impression of insanity in your character.
<Casey> That's where I differ. I tend to assume that my readers are fully as knowledgeable as I am, if not more so.
<Casey> It's a ping, a single sound that invades the darkness, shatters it, reverberates like the detonation of a bomb. When silence is your world, and darkness your eyes, the buzz of an insect is the intrusion of a freight train.
<Casey>
<Casey> My mood is bleak this day of nights. For one deprived of senses, the intrusion of sound is both longed for and shocking. I send my mind searching for source even as I cower from it.
<Casey>
<Casey> Thoughts and I have settled on separate sides of a mutually agreed-upon boundary. Time is heard passing in heartbeats and the weak airflow of the lungs' billows, while any desire to live has been strengthened and stolen. Do I live a death sentence? I don't know. But for one who no longer fears death, torturers lose their power to frighten, and retain only their power to hurt. And the body, even exhausted of adrenalin, somehow dulls pain, and mind looks down upon body and the questioners and watches with morbidity the cuts and the extractions, safe from those hands.
<Casey>
<Casey> That life persists is my only marvel, when all life around me seems so fragile. I've lost precious friends who were younger when they died than I am now, who nodded and laughed until the day of their diagnosis. From health to frailty to gone, so quickly. So what sin keeps me alive; keeps me from their company?
<Casey>
<Casey> I know this life--my life--isn't sane, but am I? I don't know. A person straddling a knife's edge has not the leisurely perspective to judge.
<Rudedog> Mel laughed. His latest victim was still steaming in the early morning chill. Mel couldn't help imagining her dancing with his rival. The thought stirred a deep sense of ambivalence in Mel. Suddenly the whole scene
<Rudedog> seemed as fake as a Friday afternoon sitcom. Without really knowing why, Mel began to laugh. A deep ripping thing that would have chilled the bones of a casual observer, if he even realized it was human.
<Jean> Jessica poured two cups of tea, bringing them into the dining room and placing them at each place setting. She told Jack all about her day, explaining in detail of every stroke she made. The problem was, no one was at the place setting, no one at all.
<Rudedog> oooo! eerie!
<Jean> eerie, or insanity??? he he...was going for the insanity.
<Rudedog> both
<Casey> Insanity is eerie.
<Jean> Cool!
<Rudedog> Yes Jean, that gave me the creeps
<Casey> Rude, I wouldn't want to meet up with your friend, either.
<Jean> I may have to include that in a chapter. I just made it up just now.
<Rudedog> Depends, the reader will never look at Jessica the same way after. It will be hard to emphathize
<Rudedog> I'm not sure that's what you want.
<Jean> Your example was pretty creepy as well. I would definitely call him "insane"
<Rudedog> Kathy, you getting in on this?
<Jean> lol, was just thinking the same thing, Rude.
<Jean> WAKE UP, KATHY!
<kissfan> LOL trying to think of something to write and I can't seem to
<Jean> That's true, Rude. I may not want that character to go that way.
<Rudedog> I hate it when that happens
<kissfan> me too!
<Rudedog> if you did, you would need another character to choose "Correctly". Then Jessica would be contrast.
<Jean> Good idea. Thanks.
<Casey> I think it's safe to say that each of us experienced definite emotional reactions to what each one wrote.
<Rudedog> Yeah, NiMN
<Casey> Even though Jean's character was acting perfectly normal, our reaction wasn't in the serving of the tea and her chattering, but in what was missing in that commonplace scene.
<kissfan> Yep
<Rudedog> What I particularly liked about Jean's example was the way it snuck up on you. It poped you right at the last second and you never saw it coming
<Jean> <<<bows
<kissfan> Ya I did too!
<Rudedog> extra points for style
<Rudedog> er, execution I mean
<Casey> Exactly. And in yours, Rude, your description of the body steaming in the cold was much more chilling than if you'd described it hacked to pieces.
<Jean> Yes! Totally!
<kissfan> I liked both of them
<Casey> You brought in the readers' imagination to fill in the picture you didn't describe.
<Rudedog> again, depends. I think that it could have been just as chilling in that circumstance
<Rudedog> You would have concentrating on the deadness in the eyes of the decapitated head
<Rudedog> or the angle of the fingers of the cold hand
<Jean> <<<feeling ill just thinking about it
<Rudedog> or ... you get the picture
<Jean> Leaving some things to your imagination is the best part of reading.
<kissfan> Ya really I agree Jean
<Jean> The thing is you get the emotion out of it.
<Casey> But the point is, the reader's own knowledge and imagination can be used--effectively--in your story.
<Rudedog> yup, some things have to be left to the reader
<Rudedog> otherwise the story bogs
<Rudedog> and grinds to a halt
<kissfan> ya so true
<Casey> Yep.
<Casey> Now, to backtrack to the more boring stuff.
<Soulmoon> Unless you were writing for an audience that is unable to visual such experiences.
<Rudedog> what, like small children?
<Casey> That's where you should know the type of audience you're writing for, Soulmoon.
<Soulmoon> No, people that have learning disabilities but yet, love to read.
<kissfan> or teens that think it's wrong to have an imagination?
<Rudedog> ?!!
<Rudedog> ?!?
<Rudedog> What!
<Rudedog> let them burn!! They wouldn't read my stuff anyway
<Casey> Those people would purchase or borrow books that interests them, Soulmoon, just as we all do.
<kissfan> Ya like me niece
<Casey> Now, now, Rude.
<Soulmoon> Casey, you forget to mention that you need to do so though. Unless, that was when I was disconnected.
<Soulmoon> Rude, I would have you know that I was one of them not too long ago.
<Rudedog> grrrrrr. Stupid teens who can't understand the value of imagination don't read fantasy anyway.
<Casey> Writing to such a narrow target group would not be good for a writer, because widespread appeal is usually what publishers are looking for in a story.
<Rudedog> I'm sorry. That's too bad.
<Rudedog> ??
<Rudedog> How does that apply here, Casey?
<Casey> We're off on a tangent, Rude.
<kissfan> My niece actually told her brother he was wrong for pretending he was a cat and hit him in the face for it
<Casey> Nice niece!
<Rudedog> no, no. I have real problems imagining a strictly practical teen picking up a fantasy novel
<Rudedog> lol
<Rudedog> That's funny (mean, but funny)
<Casey> But an interest in fantasy usually begins in teen years, doesn't it?
<kissfan> But she loves pokemon doesn't make sense to me
<Rudedog> Not for me. It started before I left for school
<Rudedog> :)
<kissfan> My interest in fantasy started in my pre teen years
<Casey> You're referring to grade school.
<Rudedog> Lot of kids like it from peer pressure. Expect less of that as the fad wears off
<Casey> Probably all of us began with fairytales told to us by parents.
<Rudedog> no, preschool
<Casey> When you said school, I was wondering college.
<Casey> Too many school levels.
<Rudedog> No, my first exposure was at about 4. My sister read aloud to me.
<Rudedog> Because she was reading it anyway for high school
<kissfan> Ya that is what my mom did with me.
<Rudedog> in my definition of school, it starts at about 5 and ends in your mid twenties
<Casey> I think the point is though, that when we were able to read stories for ourselves, we borrowed from the school library the books we wanted to read.
<Rudedog> yup, I read every SF book in that library. :)
<kissfan> yep I did every fantasy book I could get my hands on and every mystery too
<Casey> But when you write, generally you have a general idea about the kinds of people who will find your book interesting. Usually, I think, you imagine people similar to yourself, although many adults write for children.
<Casey> Genre helps define your reading public.
<Jean> I think that is one of the first things you need to think about when you start a project.
<Jean> Who is my audience?
<Rudedog> is who will read it
<kissfan> I know I do
<Soulmoon> Age doesn't mean anything along with size. Remember, you can be young at heart yet turn out to be close to death.
<Casey> Exactly, Soulmoon.
<kissfan> yep and sometimes I read the young adults books more than adult fiction
<Rudedog> :) I'm young at heart. I still maintain a cache of my brain at 12
<Jean> But Soulmoon, I think what we are all getting at is the fact that a writer can't be too specific in details just to satisfy a small margin of readers.
<Jean> Because it takes away something from the rest of the audience that's reading the same thing.
<kissfan> too may details can make the story read like a textbook or something LOL
<Rudedog> writing for the majority... I'm of two minds about that concept
<Rudedog> I don't know. Robert Jordan somehow gets away with it.
<Casey> A writer can be specific, as long as the overall work has broad appeal.
<Rudedog> cramming detail I mean
<Jean> Most readers will be telling the author, "I could have figured that out by myself."
<Casey> I understand what you mean now.
<Rudedog> no where else will I sit through 2 or 3 pages of setting description with VERY minimal action
<kissfan> I used to cram too much detail into my stories and it sounded terrible
<Casey> Or another problem: making a novel into a "how to" book, losing sight of its entertainment function.
<Rudedog> !!
<kissfan> or a history book
<Rudedog> Who does that?
<Jean> So, what's next, Casey?
<Casey> Was that question directed to me, Rude?
<Rudedog> toward the aether in general
<kissfan> I used to put too much history background into my work
<Rudedog> only what's immediately necessary. That's my rule of thumb
<Casey> Physical reactions of characters in emotional scenes. What are they?
<Rudedog> adjectives
<Jean> lmao, Rude
<Casey> Because that's the other half of emotional reaction: how your character reacts to stimuli.
<Rudedog> small specific details
<Casey> More specific than that, Rude.
<Casey> Like, sweating. Dilated eyes.
<Jean> Her eyes were wide with fear.
<Rudedog> Shifting stance, darting eyes
<Casey> fluttering hands.
<Rudedog> tense muscles
<Casey> salivating.
<kissfan> buckling needs
<Casey> (Don't limit yourself to fear alone)
<kissfan> oops Knees
<Rudedog> knees?
<Casey> That threw me for a moment, Kathy.
<kissfan> sparkling eyes
<Rudedog> Would those be car crash victim
<Jean> Her eyes danced wildly at the thought.
<kissfan> LOL I bet it did
<Rudedog> mostly eyes and general expressions
<Casey> What does wildly dancing eyes look like, Jean?
<Jean> He nervously ran his hands through his hair.
<Jean> I'd show ya if I had a digital camera!
<Rudedog> Narrowed eyes (suspicion) gritted teeth (pain) grimace
<Casey> But you're a writer. Write the description you understand them to be.
<Casey> dry mouth.
<kissfan> ya do they pop out of her head and boogie?
<Rudedog> yeah, you can get carried away with obscure poetic phrases
<Casey> (There's a point to my persistence)
<Rudedog> Stubborn set of jaw
<Rudedog> fiery looks
<Rudedog> cold stares
<Jean> Her eyes widened, became bright with color.
<Rudedog> hard stares
<Jean> (that's my description)
<Rudedog> Startled glance
<Casey> Rude said it. Plus it sounds more like a phrase borrowed from someone else's novel rather than an accurate description of an emotional reaction.
<Rudedog> my eyes can shift colors Jean
<Rudedog> CAN'T
<Casey> But eyes don't change color. However, sunlight, or candlelight, or any kind of light can glint in them.
<Jean> sure they can, Rude.
<Rudedog> 0_o
<Jean> My kids eyes change color depending on the color clothing they wear.
<kissfan> ya if his eyes are hazel they will change color slightly
<Rudedog> Wishful thinking ;)
<Casey> but they don't change color from an emotional reaction--suddenly.
<Jean> Within their own eye color, of course/
<Rudedog> perhaps a little under the differences between florescent and incandescent lighting
<Jean> Don't you think they'd become brighter if they were excited about something?
<Rudedog> Jean is raising a litter of Chameleons!
<Casey> Yes. But think hard about how that is possible, Jean.
<Soulmoon> my sister's and my own eyes change from brown to hazel, sometimes blue, color.
<Jean> So, what you are saying, Casey, is to describe the other body language that causes this reaction to her eyes, right?
<Casey> Your eyes widen, tears reflect the light more.
<Rudedog> I knew I should have studied anatomy more closely
<Casey> I'm urging you to create your own explanation of what is actually happening rather than borrowing catch phrases (clichés) from other writers' stories.
<Casey> That's where originality comes from.
<Casey> Not from totally new story lines.
<kissfan> Ya that is what I am trying to do with mine, Casey trying to be as original as I can
<Casey> My eyes actually do change slightly in color from day to day, Soul, too. Sometimes more gray, sometimes slightly more green.
<Rudedog> We are reduced to minor twists to distinguish ourselves from previous authors
<Jean> I can see it, but have a hard time describing in words what it is I see.
<Rudedog> there are no new ideas left
<kissfan> that is when you have to be more creative as hard as it may sound
<Casey> That's the eternal challenge of writing, Jean. But just as I don't want you to get lazy with capitalization, I don't want you lazy in your descriptions, either.
<Jean> I completely understand.
<Casey> If you succeed in this challenge to describe, your work will be remembered long after other stories are forgotten.
<Jean> <<hangs head in defeat.
<Casey> Don't be ashamed!
<Casey> Every one of us has gone through the struggle.
<Rudedog> all writing is WiP
<Casey> And still struggles.
<Jean> WiP
<Rudedog> work in progress
<Casey> Work in Progress.
<Jean> ok
<kissfan> yep we all go through it Jean
<Casey> I still don't know what NiMN was though.
<Rudedog> the skills never are ultimate
<Rudedog> Not in My Neighborhood
<Casey> Ahhhhh. Okay.
<Jean> I didn't know that one, either.
<Rudedog> mostly a jail and nuclear waste acronymn
<kissfan> ok I got it now
<Jean> I wish I could take some of my strengths and give them to my weaknesses.
<kissfan> Don't we all Jean
<Rudedog> Not me! I want to be horribly unbalanced
<Rudedog> I can always learn basic stuff
<Rudedog> :)
<Jean> You are succeeding, Rude.
<Jean> lol
<Rudedog> lol
<Rudedog> poorly socially adjusted
<Casey> Your strengths mean you have that number fewer things to work at.
<Rudedog> not unbalanced
<Casey> Back to physical reactions.
<Casey> Did we do clenched hands/fists?
<Rudedog> I would rather be both sides of the remarkable coin then mediocre on both faces
<Casey> Good philosophy, Rude.
<Jean> Yes, I wanted to take back my comment, the moment I hit "enter"
<Rudedog> huh?
<Rudedog> which one?
<Jean> I want to keep my strengths as strong as they are, and not take away from them to give to weaknesses.
<Rudedog> *nods* nothing is worse then having someone say. "I can't think of anything to say about this."
<Jean> Pale face.
<Jean> face twitched.
<Casey> Back on subject: Anything to do with eyebrows has become a cliché. Jiggle eyebrows at your own peril.
<Casey> Good ones, Jean.
<Rudedog> *wiggles his eyebrows*
<Jean> We expected nothing less of that from you, Rude.
<Casey> *raises eyebrows over Rudedog's wiggling eyebrows*
<Rudedog> lol
<Rudedog> *wiggles them again, this time with more emphasis*
<Jean> How about something as simple as a smile?
<Rudedog> *and an amused nod*
<Casey> *Laughs* Which is Casey's next emotional reaction.
<Jean> chuckles
<Rudedog> ~_~
<kissfan> lol
<Rudedog> ~._.~
<Jean> Stomach hurts from laughing so hard.
<Casey> closing eyes.
<Casey> flush
<Casey> tearing/crying
<Rudedog> ^_-
<kissfan> yep mine too
<Casey> screaming
<Casey> clearing throat
<Rudedog> :P
<Casey> contracted throat
<kissfan> stamping her foot
<Casey> Good one, Rude.
<Jean> Hits the wall.
<Rudedog> thanks
<Jean> With his head.
<Jean> lol
<Casey> increased heartbeat
<Rudedog> ouch
<Jean> Good one, Casey
<Rudedog> x_x
<Jean> lol
<Casey> increased brain activity/mental acuity
<Jean> like that one, rude.
<Rudedog> decreased brain activity/mental acuity
<Casey> urge to urinate and frequent urination (from extreme anxiety)
<Jean> But how would the other character(s) see that Casey?
<Jean> the brain one
<Rudedog> lol
<Casey> That would only come across in POV character to reader, Jean.
<Casey> It's the result of adrenalin rush during a crisis.
<Rudedog> don't you know Casey has a Marikee sign above her head
<Jean> Just checking. Wasn't sure who you were targeting.
<Rudedog> Urge to urinate? Not for me...
<Casey> I thought it was one of those cartoon balloons, Rude.
<Rudedog> that works too
<Rudedog> *_*
<kissfan> lol
<Jean> Looks up in thought.
<Casey> licking lips.
<Jean> How's that?
<Casey> pursed lips.
<Casey> Good, Jean.
<Jean> <<is doing that right now.
<Rudedog> : / <-- hm.....
<kissfan> bighting lip
<Rudedog> creative spelling
<Casey> grinning
<Casey> arousal
<Jean> Or should I say looks up in wonder.
<Rudedog> lol
<Casey> blighting lips would be good, too, Kathy!
<Rudedog> I love faces (#\_/#)
<Jean> Turned his back to her.
<Rudedog> rolls eyes
<Rudedog> turns into a big bug
<Jean> lmao
<Casey> gives the finger.
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): bites it
<Casey> ouch!
<Rudedog> (#\_/#):tastey!
<kissfan> HEHEE
<Casey> licks finger.
<Casey> contracts rabies. Dies.
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): helps
<Jean> Sounds like B-drill, Rude.
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): Good observation Jean!
<Jean> Cheated, asked my 10 yr old son.
<kissfan> LOL works for me Jean!
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): Snaps fingers in frustration
<Jean> couldn't remember the name of it.
<Rudedog> Beedrill
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): oops, forgot the mask
<Jean> brb, potty break
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): follows
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): gets beaten up and returns
<Casey> If we've overlooked anything, I don't think it's much.
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): Can't think of anything. What else is on the agenda?
<Rudedog>
<Rudedog> Should I change masks?
<Casey> The point of putting you guys through this is to remind you that there's a whole gamut of reactions that generally go underused.
<Casey> Not until I find my flyswatter, Rude.
<Casey> Hold very, very still.
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): Buzz
<Casey> WHACK!
<Rudedog> (#\_/#): SPLAT!!!
<Casey> Good time to transform now.
<Rudedog> turns back to human form
<Casey> You seem to have a waffle imprint on your forehead, Rude.
<Rudedog> uh....
<Rudedog> er....
<Rudedog> Um....
<Rudedog> darn
<Rudedog> I know I have some burn cream around here somewhere
<Casey> What characters say was our third way of conveying emotional reaction.
<Rudedog> Thoughts, actions, and words
<Rudedog> perhaps also scene
<Casey> It's not a burn. Simply red. Looks suspiciously like the imprint of a flyswatter.
<kissfan> should of watched where you were flying hot waffle irons leave weird burns
<Rudedog> Nah, fly mask absorbed the impact
<Casey> What sorts of verbal reactions do people have?
<Rudedog> *\^/* rhino mask!
<Casey> Profanity is certainly one.
<Rudedog> (*\^/*): lol
<Casey> Saying ha ha ha gives an impression that true laughter doesn't.
<Casey> Sarcasm.
<Rudedog> (*\^/*)cold anger
<Rudedog> calm declarations
<Jean> whispering
<Rudedog> SHOUTING!!
<Casey> You're going types of emotions.
<Rudedog> deliveries
<Casey> Let's name them then.
<kissfan> muttering
<Rudedog> grumbling
<Casey> Rude, demonstrate grumbling without using that word to do so.
<Rudedog> "stupid braindead, %#(#&%, brain the size of a pea, &*($%&$m,..."
<kissfan> Meathead
<kissfan> LOL
<Rudedog> somehow an "M" snuck into my grumble
<Jean> Good example, rude.
<Casey> Good. Much more effective than simply stating.
<Jean> I see what you are getting at, Casey.
<Rudedog> accents!
<Jean> So what you're saying is they should "voice" their reactions?
<Casey> Accents are hard without getting into dialect, which slows down reading.
<Rudedog> "I think a finally ken what ya' been say'in"
<Jean> That would be showing, rather than telling.
<Casey> Jean: was it more entertaining to read "grumbling" or to read Rude's actual tirade?
<kissfan> ya tell me about it people would think I had a bad spelling problem if I wrote with a Maine accent HEHEE
<Rudedog> yes, but I will gladly slow down for a well written accent
<Casey> And you knew exactly what he was doing by the example he gave.
<Jean> the tirade, of course.
<Jean> I think I was mis-understanding the exercise.
<Rudedog> old on a sec. I'm going to the closet for an example
<kissfan> RUDE! Stay away from that closet!
<Casey> Quick! Grab a chair!
<kissfan> Casey he's getting into that closet again
<Casey> Prop it under the handle.
<Casey> Soon, he'll be coming out of the closet, Kathy.
<Jean> Ut oh.
<Rudedog> ha, escaped
<kissfan> damn I can't spell at all I would do bettah writin' with a Main accent ayah
<Casey> I think he's hiding skeletons.
<Jean> She jumped up and down, clapping her hands together in excitement.
<Rudedog> the book I wanted is missing! Poop!
<Rudedog> no, only books and drawings
<Casey> You could leave off "in excitement." We see her excitement already.
<Jean> Oh. You see, this is my problem.
<Jean> I over-explain.
<Casey> You show AND tell.
<kissfan> I sometimes do that too
<Casey> And your showing is so effective, it's diminished by the unnecessary telling.
<Casey> I'm guilty, also.
<kissfan> yep
<Casey> But I've learned to watch for those types of transgressions in my own writing and edit them out.
<Jean> I will work hard on that.
<kissfan> Ya I am getting better at that too
<Rudedog> "I dinna ken what tae dae aboot ye, Alex. In twenty years there hasna been anither mechwarrior in the auld outfit who could handle ye when it comes tae...
<Casey> Scottish accent.
<Rudedog> Andrew Keith, "Blood of Heroes"
<Rudedog> nicely done, no?
<Casey> Yes.
<kissfan> yep
<Rudedog> my point exactly. When done right, it makes for a VERY memorable character
<Casey> Exactly. And the key phrase is, "when done right."
<kissfan> for sure
<Rudedog> granted.
<Rudedog> it's an all or nothing kind of risk
<Rudedog> especially with one this thick
<Casey> That's one way to guarantee all characters don't speak alike.
<Rudedog> lol, yeah.
<Jean> She rung her hands together.
<kissfan> for sure
<Casey> Anxiety, Jean.
<Jean> Woo Hoo!!
<Jean> I did it
<Rudedog> I should reread those books. It was a great ploy
<Rudedog> ???
<Casey> I had no doubt.
<Jean> Well, I was going for nervous anxiety.
<Casey> nervous and anxiety seem redundant.
<Jean> biting nails
<Casey> That would be nervous to me.
<Rudedog> x_x
<Casey> Rude is now cross-eyed.
<Rudedog> lol
<Jean> Or punched in the face and knocked out.
<Casey> Dead, to Picasso.
<Rudedog> fell over from relief
<Rudedog> T_T this is crosseyed
<Jean> Anything else, I'm not feeling well this evening.
<Casey> That looks more like the primitive tribes who paint their faces: long white, red, or black lines drawn below their eyes.
<Casey> Class is over with, Jean.
<Casey> Go lay down and get well soon.
<Rudedog> hope you feel better
<Jean> Thanks for the comments and suggestions.
<Casey> Glad you made it.
<Rudedog> soulmoon, are you still there
<kissfan> ya take care of yourself Jean
<Jean> Talk to you all later.
<Soulmoon> yeah
<Rudedog> well, get out of the corner
<Jean> I always take something with me from every class Casey.
<Rudedog> ditto
<Casey> That makes all my work worthwhile.
<Casey> Thank you.
<Rudedog> Punctuation at the end of a quote. Inside or outside?
<Casey> Depending upon whether punctuation is controlling entire sentence or quoted material.
<Casey> "You better say no!"
<Rudedog> k, how about a quoted sentence. Should there be punctuation both inside and out or just inside?
<kissfan> LOL
<Casey> Give me an example and I'll punctuate it for you.
<Casey> I'm not completely clear on what you're referencing.
<Rudedog> Gary knew exactly what to say, "You are quite a fool, Jim!"
<Rudedog> Gary knew exactly what to say, "You are quite a fool, Jim."
<Casey> That's punctuated correctly.
<Rudedog> still?
<Casey> Yes.
<kissfan> yep it is
<Rudedog> k
<Casey> You're changing the tone of the quoted material, not altering its structure.
<Casey> grammatically speaking.
<Rudedog> How about a quoted sentence inside a sentence. Should there be a period in the middle too?
<Casey> "Grandpa's favorite saying is, 'You can't squeeze shit out of a buffalo-head nickel.'"
<Casey> For years I thought the ending punctuation was '." , but learned I was wrong.
<Rudedog> "Grandpa's favorite saying is, 'You can't squeeze shit out of a buffalo-head nickel.'"
<Rudedog> ;' he had a way with words."
<Casey> There's a more complex punctuation using colons and semicolons, but I can't think of a good example off the top of my head.
<kissfan> I thought it was the same as you did Casey
<Rudedog> $%^$*(%^&*$(%& ICQ screwing up my copy!
<Casey> nickel'; he had a way with words."
<Casey> semicolons always are placed outside the quotation marks.
<Rudedog> That's right, if there is a punctuation in the middle, it becomes a comma, colon, or semi-colon
<Rudedog> k, I did not know that
<Casey> Colons are handled the same way semicolons are.
<Rudedog> "Nae enough by a long shot, laddie, and ye ken it weil a weil" I love this stuff!
<Casey> Somehow, I can tell.
<Casey> I love doing what you're doing: flipping through well-loved books and savoring the passages.
<kissfan> nothing like a good scottish accent
<Rudedog> "When he returns from his wee junket tae Tharkad he'll be aye upset tae see ye hae fallen sae far behind."
<Rudedog> you know it!
<Rudedog> Worked for Star Trek
<Casey> I can hear those passages in my head.
<kissfan> HEHEE yep
<Casey> Kathy's not capitalizing anything again! Shame, shame.
<Rudedog> lol
<kissfan> OOPS SORRY
<kissfan> Making up for all I may have missed
<kissfan> HEHEE
<Casey> Retype the above comment using approved grammatical changes.
<kissfan> Nothing like a good Scottish accent
<Casey> (Put a period at the end.)
<Rudedog> Casey's on a rampage!
<kissfan> LOL Ok Nothing like a good Scottish accent.
<Casey> Yay! I knew she could do it.
<Casey> That wasn't actually painful now, was it?
<kissfan> LOL Just tired I guess.
<Casey> Just took a couple seconds longer.
--------------------------------------